Post by mrkite23 on Jul 25, 2019 7:14:15 GMT 12
An old man came into the room dressed in all the finery of a Victorian Butler attire
" Two teas please Albert " said the Doctor
The Butler gave a stare at Kite and then left the room grumbling under his breadth
Kite had that strange feeling when you pass someone in the street and your sure you have met them before with that Butler
A strange feeling indeed
"That`s Albert , he`s not the best Butler I`ve ever had but he`s cheap and unlike all the others I`ve had over the years he`s a stayer " said the Doctor
"Erm.. Doctor. "
" Henry Jekyll"
"Henry , what kind of Doctor of medicine are you if you don`t mind me asking ."
"I`m more of a chemist "
And then flying through the door came the Butler with a silver tray with two china cups of tea and a plate of biscuits
" Have we met before ?" asked Kite as the Butler put the tray down on the table
"It`s Albert " he said " Albert Van Helsing and we hav`nt met unless you saw my Tour.."
"That will be all Albert " interrupted the Doctor
Albert bowed and left the room again grumbling under his breadth
"He`s a very imaginative one that " said the Doctor helping himself to a biscuit " On his resume his previous jobs were Vampire slayer , Priest and Waiter, the latter got him the job , we don`t want any of that coffin opening and virgin saving going on`s in this quiet part of London , now do we and the best thing about him is that he`s a stayer "
"A Vampire slayer ?!" said Kite who now was pinching his arm and hoping he would wake up as he really finding himself surrounded by literature characters as he now remembered that name from the old classic Hammer horror films ..Van Helsing .
"A stayer " said the Dr.
Kite picked up his cup of tea and once again looked out of the window to the Shed
A Rag and Bone cart pulled up next to the Shed and the man from the top of the cart jumped down and walked over to the Shed and looked it over and he then gave it a kick .
The man then rubbed his unshaven chin and tried the door handle
He shot twenty feet across the street and landed in a gutter
Kite nearly chocked on his tea .
He could see tiny blue sparks coming form the handle of the shed
The man jumped to his feet and ran to his cart , jumped on and whipped his horse like it was on the last stretch of the Grand National and disappeared down the street and leaving the Shed alone on the street with if a Shed could look smug then the smoke that came from the door handle formed a grin as it floated into the air .
" Well the Mr ?"
"Kite "
" Mr Kite ! , your not related to William Kite the Circus owner ?"
"No "
"Oh, he`s up North in Rochdale I think , he comes to me when his Lions and Tigers are not well , not much call for Vet`s when it comes down to treating wild creatures , I seem to have a bond with them and I have to say your dressed as though your from the performing arts and your shoes very unusual to say the least "
" There trainers"
" Circus trainers !"
"I`m not from the circus "
Albert came through the door
"It`s time for your tonic " he said nervously
He was carrying a tray with a tall this glass which was smoking and bubbling as if the drink was alive
" Yes in a minute " replied the Dr jekyll
"It`s almost nine o clock " said Albert pointing at the large Grandfather clock
"Hold your horses , we have a guest , bring another glass Albert "
"Sir I don`t think our guess will enjoy your concoction as it has a bit of a peculiar kick to it and we don`t want to be forking out for more furniture this month .."
Albert decided it was time to leave the room soon as when the Doctor picked up the glass
"Bugger it I`m off , good luck boy , your on your own ..." And with that Albert was gone
Dr Jekyll took a sip of the drink
Kite was`nt sure as if the room had gone darker and the hairs on the Doctors arm started to grow and his hair became very bushy and almost mane like and then he spoke and it looked like he had very large fangs appearing from the sides of his mouth
" I have an ailment that seems to come at night fall and I don`t really now what I do and I always end up in trouble with the police or in a street gutter , so I take this tonic to help me sleep through it and I don`t come to any harm , so I`ll bid you a good night and I`ll take myself off to bed "
Then he started to shake all over and the glass slipped from his hand and fell to the floor and the tonic poured from the glass on the rug
" That`s not good is it ?" said a worried Kite
The Doctor was now ripping at his shirt and tie and buttons of his shirt were flying across the room and he now seemed taller and more hairier and he started to look nothing like the man he`d just been having tea and biscuits with .
" Who the bleedin ell are you ?"
" I`m Kite "
"Not that bleedin` Lion tamer ?"
" I`m not, no !"
"It`s alright then ..I hate Circuses "
" What you doin in my house then ?"
"You invited me ?"
" I don`t know who the `ell you are, I don`t have any friends except that bleedin useless Butler "
"But Mr Jekyll!" said Kite slowly making his way to the door
"Jekyll ! , my names Edward ..Edward Hyde "
"I`m from Hyde " said Kite , who really didn`t think that would help his cause
" I`ve got a strange feeling I need to strangle someone " said Hyde
"Well it`s been nice meeting ..The both of you and I think it`s time to get back " said Kite
And then in a flash Hyde was on top of Kite and with both hands around his neck
"..elp!"
There was a large clang and Hyde`s hand loosened from Kite`s neck
And Hyde fell backwards with both hands still in the air and dropped to the floor revealing Albert with a large frying pan in his hands
"He`s not going to very happy when he wakes up " said Albert
"If he wakes up !! "
Kite pondered on if there was any point of seeing if he had a pulse and then Mr Hyde groaned
"I think we`d best be off " said Albert slowly putting down the frying pan
Kite not one to argue with that piece of good advice and the pair tip toed slowly out of the room and into the hall where Albert slowly put on his coat and then another coat and then a hat
"Are you serious ?" whispered Kite
And then there was an almighty howl from the room that had a sound that would make a ghost leave home
"Run !" screamed Albert who picked up an umbrella from the stand
They both flew out the door but unlike Mr`s Lot in Sodem Kite was not for looking back to find out what horror was coming behind him
"Follow me old man ! "
Kite did`nt hesitate to think what the Shed might to his new passenger after what he had seen the Shed`s reaction to the Rag and Bone man , but he still gritted his teeth as he flew open the Shed door and the duo both fell into the Shed and Kite turned to see the door shut by its self
Then came a thunderous banging on the outside of the Shed
"Hyde ! " said Albert
Kite was not very good when he was put under pressure in any walk of life and when it came down to having any calmness about him , it was non -existent
At the panel again he moved this and he moved that and then the banging stopped
He looked down at the panel
California
1960
There is no way he thought that he put that in , it`s got to be this Shed , it really is becoming so sort of Time traveling tormentor
Kite walked up to the door and he half opened it
It was dark and a dust bowl was blowing and in the distance he could see a neon sign flickering
it read
Bates Motel
Albert pushed past Kite
"Make way boy , I need to start cleaning that mess that Mr Hyde has made , because no doubt he`ll now be wandering the streets and making a right fool of himself and him not having his medicine and that Jack the Ripper on the streets of London the police are going have their hands full.."
Albert stopped talking when he realized he was`nt in London anymore
"Where the bleedin `ell are we boy ?"
"Well ...If my calculations are correct and to be fare I hav`nt seen the film in a very long time where on the the film set of Pyscho at the beginning of the nineteen sixties "
"Psycho ?" said Albert looking at Kite as if he`d lost his mind
"Yes, Psycho , and know that you hav`nt a clue about it as it not been made yet as your about sixty years away from this classic horror film game changer "
" I think you better start talking a bit more sense as I need to know what you have done with the streets of London they were here a few minutes ago " said Albert wishing he had not put the frying pan down .
" I think what we have here " Kite pointed to the Shed " Is a Time Machine "
A Time Machine ! , I see now you`ve been reading that young fellows book , what`s his name ..Wells and I think you`ve lost your sense of reality "
"Blimey , you Victorians had it all going on back then , I wish I have lost my mind as I was one minute having a brew listening to Topographic Oceans then Symbols and then flash , and then I`m back in the seventies where I was meeting myself ten years old and then boom ! I`m in the streets of London and now I`m in Hollywood ! "
Albert really did now wish he`d kept the frying pan
"I`m in Hollywood ! " shouted Kite , who did a bit of a skip and a jump
" I say old man , lets just have a look around , I`m sure your in no hurry to get back to Butlering and looking after that crazy Doctor "
Albert did`nt really think that going back to Jekyll`s or in fact Hyde`s house was an option after all he did take out the latter with the biggest pan he could find "
"Alright then , lets have a look at this Hollywood you seem so excited about "
They both walked up the dusty path towards the neon sign and arrived in a small car park which then at the other end was a stretch of one floor buildings and behind that on a small hill was a very large Gothic house which in one window there was a light coming from it .
Kite could`nt believe that he was actually on the set of one of the most iconic sets of the new modern age of horror films and directed by the one and only master of suspense Alfred Hitchcock
" I can`t not believe it ! , this is surreal ! "
"What are you going on about boy ? " Albert saw there was a light on at the end room of the block of apartments " lets see who`s in there I`m getting very hungry "
As they approached the room Albert looked up to the old Gothic house and could see someone sat at the window
He waved
Not a stir from the window , the shadowy figure did`nt wave back
"Some people have no courtesy " grumbled Albert
They got to the door which had a little plaque
Bates Motel Reception
Kite opened the door and there was a tinkle of a bell above the door
They both approached the desk
"Hello !" shouted Albert
There was a scrape of a chair from the back room and a tall thin man with a white shirt came out of the room with a very unnerving smile on his face and he had eyes darker than a Nick Cave album
"Can I help you gentlemen ?"
"Is this Hollywood ?" asked Albert
"It`s an hotel reception " replied the man
"Tis so " said Albert who was now looking at the decor of the place which seemed to be stuffed birds hanging from every inch of the room .
Kite could`nt believe how different Anthony Perkins looked in real life and keeps in character
"Would you like a room ?"
Kite just stared at Perkins and was unable to bring himself to answer he was starstruck
" I have a double or a single with running hot water "
"Yes ! yes , we`d like a room " Albert who was now getting excited at the thought of running water and the bonus that it`s hot .
Finally Kite had found his voice
"Were sorry to bother you Mr Perkins and we are going now arn`t we Albert "
Kite pulled Albert`s arm who had now turned his attention the the postcard stand
" My names Norman ... Norman Bates , like the sign say`s " he smiled like a Cheshire cat
"like it says on the sign " repeated Albert and he put a postcard on the desk and we`ll take that ..Hot water you say ?"
"Just one night gentlemen ?"
Kite was thinking at what a professional this actor was and at what point was he going to brake character and hopefully Kite could get his autograph .
" So what`s it like working for Mr Hitchcock ?"
Albert and the hotel proprietor both looked at Kite
"There`s only me here ... And Mother here but she`s not a well woman these days so she stays in her room and I do all the chores ..Like changing and washing the linen and you know ..Motel stuff "
"I see you stuff birds " said Albert
"That too " said Norman and he gave Albert a key " I`ll put you in room seven
"Oh my lucky number said Albert putting the key in his top pocket " I`m a seventh son of a seventh son and I was born in the seventh month "
" On the seventh day ?" asked Norman
"No the twenty third "
"Oh..Anyway gentlemen I`ll let you get to your room as it`s getting late and you must be tired with the traveling , may I ask where your from ?"
"Hyde " "London" . Replied the duo in unison
" I see , well sleep tight don`t let the bed bugs bite " Said Norman
"You have bed bugs !" said Albert and he picked up his postcard and set off out the door and when he got outside he waved to the shadowy figure of a woman again at the window
She did`nt wave back
"No manners " and Albert walked down the doors and stopped at number seven
Kite followed aimlessly behind wondering if all of this was real he was hoping it was`nt going to pan out like the movie and he certainly was`nt taking a shower he did`nt want to find out if men dressed in women`s cloths went round with very large knives to the accompany of screehing violins
" Now wheres that hot water !" said Albert opening the door " What a palace ! "
"A palace ! " Kite went over to the double bed and sat on the edge
"What`s that ?! " Albert pointed to a large box in the corner
" It`s a T.V. "
" A T.V.! what the devil is a T.V. ! "
"Nothing to worry about , it`s a bit like those machines you have in your day , a What The Butler Saw , ironically "
"Is It !!! , have you got a farthing handy !! " said Albert who was really getting to love Hollywood as it had hot water and steamy T.V. machines !
" I think we`ll leave it off and get some sleep " said Kite
"Well then I think I`ll take a shower " and Albert went into the bathroom " A palace !" he shouted from inside the bathroom .
Norman had made his way back to the large house
His Mother was sat at the dinner table
"There was no need to wait for me to come back Mother "
No reply
"We have to new guests staying an odd couple , one is dressed like a Victorian Butler and the other looks like a Beatnic "
"His Mother just sat there and did`nt move except a spider crawled out of one her eye sockets
Norman sat down at the table to an empty plate
"Mother do I have to make my own dinner again , you know I don`t have time with running the Motel and looking after you , as you really don`t lift a finger around here "
Norman ! , your not going anyway until you`ve finished your greens !
"Greens ! Greens ! Mother ! there are no greens , no Potatoes , carrots and no cutlery for starters and no starters !"
Norman was insane
Don`t you raise your voice at me young man !
"What are you going to do send me to bed with no supper ! "
Right that`s it boy , your not having any supper for a week you`ll go straight to bed !
" Damn and hell mother if you were still alive I`d take you down to the fruit cellar and leave you to rot !"
Oh no please Norman not the fruit cellar you know I don`t like it down there it`s dark and damp and you know what happened the last time I was down there !
Yes , I do Mother, you died . "
Back at room seven Albert had described to his new companion that the shower was to die for
Albert opened the window and took in the night air and he could hear the argument coming from the house
"He`s got no respect for his Mother that young man , and he should`nt be talkin to her in that tone of voice "
Kite was lying on the bed staring at the T.V. and pondering on what would be on right now if he turned it on
"Why whats going on " Kite asked halfhearted
"Sounds like he`s throwing his Mother in the fruit cellar " replied Albert
"Well my friend the best we can do is go to sleep and in the morning leave this place as soon as possible , he is a actor who is really pushing the limit for a part "
"He`s not acting ! , he sounds very serious indeed "
"Get some sleep Albert , I`m taking you back tomorrow and I`m doing the same "
"Albert got into the other side of the bed and turn off the lamp and pulled up the sheets over his face
"I can smell Moth balls " he said
A few hours passed and Albert was awoken by the sound of Beethoven
Albert had become a light sleeper over the years living with Dr Jekyll .
Jekyll kept strange hours and he would go out after midnight most often threw the unopened window
He would return just before daybreak if he had`nt been arrested
Times were tough in London and jobs like the one he had was one with its ups and downs
He had seen the Job in the paper , it read
Butler Wanted
Must not ask questions and keep his mouth shut at all times and have an opened mind
And most importantly when in the lab no touching and no questions what so ever .
"I can do that !"
He would`nt forget the first day of his new job as his new employer showed him round his Laboratory
It was full of shelves of medicines and tables full of bubbling liquids and Bunsen burners and two, bottles caught his eye as it had a label
Antidote on one and Hyde on the other
He did his mantra in his head
No questions , no questions, and no touching
Then on his very first night he was awoken from a strange noise from Lab
It said nothing about a curiosity in the paper he thought and the one thing that Albert could`nt do is not be a nosey parker and he could keep very quite and creep about and if he got caught he had his list of excuses he had used for many years
His top excuses were .
1. I thought I heard a Burglar
2. I needed to check if I`d turned the oven off
3. I thought I saw an apparition
4. Just checking the calendar to see how many weeks it was till X Mas
5. Thought he smelt the scent of a Dhampyre
He slowly crept down stairs and then like a Ninja he made his way to the location of the noise which happened to be Jekyll`s lab
On the door it had a sign
Do Not Enter
the door was ajar so shut one of his eyes and with his opened eye ( obviously ) he peeped in the lab
There was a man at the desk , it was`nt his new employer , he was very hairy had hands like a Gorilla the suit he had on didn`t fit him at all
Albert gulped
If he had ever seen one he would have said the man was a Werewolf in a three piece suit
Without looking up the creature spoke
"Who are you ?" it said
Albert came into the room and with his book of excuses at the ready but now fear had taken him over and his brain was hiding behind a sofa
"I thought I heard Santa`s sleigh bells" he said
"It`s July " answered the creature
"So it is.. I`m the new Butler "
"I`m Mr Hyde "
"Are you a patient of Dr. Jekyll`s ?" Albert realized he had ask a question
The creature laughed
" No , you could say were close relations "
"Ah well , there you go , best I get off to bed , July you say, Santa`s early " and Albert laughed a nervous laugh and tried to look sleepy with the yawn and the mouth covering ploy
"Do you know were there are any Virgins ?" asked the creature
" The Virgin Islands ? " replied Albert
"How about a goat ?"
" I can make you a club sandwich if you like "
"Never mind I`ll get my own " and with that said he jumped out of the unopened window and the sound of a howl was heard in the distance
Ah yes thought Albert ask no questions and keep my mouth shut and off he went back to bed thanking the lord he was`nt a Virgin or a four legged creature .
Meanwhile back in Hollywood
"Boy " he whispered
No answer
"That`s Beethoven`s Symphony number three in E flat Mayor playing, a classic and no mistake even though he was going deaf ! "
He got dressed and and slowly opened the door that sounded like a tree being cut down .
He looked at Kite , still fast asleep
He set off for the house and Beethoven was becoming louder and Albert started to hum the tune
" Da da dah da ..da ..da da dah..Da ! " he hummed .
The house was atop of a flight of steps which he huffed his way up and finally reached the door , he raised his hand and was just about to knock the music stopped .
" Oh, he must have gone to bed , well I`m here now , in for a penny in for a pound "
He tried the door handle , it was unlocked
He walked in and found himself in a hallway which was decorated with stuffed animals in the corner was a large white Polar bear that wore a bowler hat and at its feet were umbrellas
He had never seen a Polar bear before only in one of Darwin`s books , he had spent many hours in the library looking at the exotic creatures and his most favorite book of Darwin`s was the game changer in evolution
Khafre : Of Mice and Men .
He was just about to pet the bear when he heard a door open from upstairs
"Crikey , better hide" he whispered to the bear
He spotted a few small steps that led to a door under the stairs , he headed down and went through the door
It was pitch black
He blindly ran his hands along the wall until he felt a light switch
He flicked it down
The room was full of crates and through the wooden slats he could see rotten fruit and in the middle of the room was a chair that was facing away from him and sat in the chair was as far as he could make out was an old lady dressed in black .
"Hello madame " he whispered
No answer
He walked up to the woman and tapped her shoulder
Her head dropped off and fell in her lap .
Albert screamed like a little girl threw both his hands in the air and smashed the light bulb above him
He was in pitch black again
"Oh heck!"
He once again shuffled blindly with his hands out in front of him , he knocked the chair and then he kicked the head that rolled across the room making the sound of a coconut
He finally found the stairs and got to the door . He opened it to find a very tall woman dressed from head to foot in black and holding a very large knife above her head
He was just about to scream again and there was an almighty wack and the woman fell head first down the steps as Albert thankfully had moved aside as she fell
He looked up to see Kite holding an Umbrella
" I think that makes us even " said Kite " And what did I tell you "
" I can`t help it , it`s a thing " said Albert looking down at the fallen woman. "Do you think she`s dead ?"
"It`s a he " Oh, I`ve heard about them "
"No ..It`s Norman Bates , or Anthony Perkins " said Kite "I`m not really sure "
Albert reached down and pulled off a wig from the top of the Psycho`s head
"I think we better get going " said Kite as he pulled Albert up from the steps and they left the house
Norman came round and he heard his mother from the cellar
Norman ! you get me out of this cellar I`m getting a chill and I need my blanket
"Who`s paying the bill ?" asked Albert as they walked past the Motel .
They got to the Shed and in an instant the Shed disappeared leaving Hollywood and Norman alone with his mother who was now back in her window with her head back on her shoulders
There`s a car coming Norman and make sure this time they pay there bill
It had started to rain as the car reached the Motel and a blonde haired woman got out of the car and ran in the reception
From the house a man ran through the rain and entered the Reception
"Would you like a room ?" he asked his latest guest .
" Two teas please Albert " said the Doctor
The Butler gave a stare at Kite and then left the room grumbling under his breadth
Kite had that strange feeling when you pass someone in the street and your sure you have met them before with that Butler
A strange feeling indeed
"That`s Albert , he`s not the best Butler I`ve ever had but he`s cheap and unlike all the others I`ve had over the years he`s a stayer " said the Doctor
"Erm.. Doctor. "
" Henry Jekyll"
"Henry , what kind of Doctor of medicine are you if you don`t mind me asking ."
"I`m more of a chemist "
And then flying through the door came the Butler with a silver tray with two china cups of tea and a plate of biscuits
" Have we met before ?" asked Kite as the Butler put the tray down on the table
"It`s Albert " he said " Albert Van Helsing and we hav`nt met unless you saw my Tour.."
"That will be all Albert " interrupted the Doctor
Albert bowed and left the room again grumbling under his breadth
"He`s a very imaginative one that " said the Doctor helping himself to a biscuit " On his resume his previous jobs were Vampire slayer , Priest and Waiter, the latter got him the job , we don`t want any of that coffin opening and virgin saving going on`s in this quiet part of London , now do we and the best thing about him is that he`s a stayer "
"A Vampire slayer ?!" said Kite who now was pinching his arm and hoping he would wake up as he really finding himself surrounded by literature characters as he now remembered that name from the old classic Hammer horror films ..Van Helsing .
"A stayer " said the Dr.
Kite picked up his cup of tea and once again looked out of the window to the Shed
A Rag and Bone cart pulled up next to the Shed and the man from the top of the cart jumped down and walked over to the Shed and looked it over and he then gave it a kick .
The man then rubbed his unshaven chin and tried the door handle
He shot twenty feet across the street and landed in a gutter
Kite nearly chocked on his tea .
He could see tiny blue sparks coming form the handle of the shed
The man jumped to his feet and ran to his cart , jumped on and whipped his horse like it was on the last stretch of the Grand National and disappeared down the street and leaving the Shed alone on the street with if a Shed could look smug then the smoke that came from the door handle formed a grin as it floated into the air .
" Well the Mr ?"
"Kite "
" Mr Kite ! , your not related to William Kite the Circus owner ?"
"No "
"Oh, he`s up North in Rochdale I think , he comes to me when his Lions and Tigers are not well , not much call for Vet`s when it comes down to treating wild creatures , I seem to have a bond with them and I have to say your dressed as though your from the performing arts and your shoes very unusual to say the least "
" There trainers"
" Circus trainers !"
"I`m not from the circus "
Albert came through the door
"It`s time for your tonic " he said nervously
He was carrying a tray with a tall this glass which was smoking and bubbling as if the drink was alive
" Yes in a minute " replied the Dr jekyll
"It`s almost nine o clock " said Albert pointing at the large Grandfather clock
"Hold your horses , we have a guest , bring another glass Albert "
"Sir I don`t think our guess will enjoy your concoction as it has a bit of a peculiar kick to it and we don`t want to be forking out for more furniture this month .."
Albert decided it was time to leave the room soon as when the Doctor picked up the glass
"Bugger it I`m off , good luck boy , your on your own ..." And with that Albert was gone
Dr Jekyll took a sip of the drink
Kite was`nt sure as if the room had gone darker and the hairs on the Doctors arm started to grow and his hair became very bushy and almost mane like and then he spoke and it looked like he had very large fangs appearing from the sides of his mouth
" I have an ailment that seems to come at night fall and I don`t really now what I do and I always end up in trouble with the police or in a street gutter , so I take this tonic to help me sleep through it and I don`t come to any harm , so I`ll bid you a good night and I`ll take myself off to bed "
Then he started to shake all over and the glass slipped from his hand and fell to the floor and the tonic poured from the glass on the rug
" That`s not good is it ?" said a worried Kite
The Doctor was now ripping at his shirt and tie and buttons of his shirt were flying across the room and he now seemed taller and more hairier and he started to look nothing like the man he`d just been having tea and biscuits with .
" Who the bleedin ell are you ?"
" I`m Kite "
"Not that bleedin` Lion tamer ?"
" I`m not, no !"
"It`s alright then ..I hate Circuses "
" What you doin in my house then ?"
"You invited me ?"
" I don`t know who the `ell you are, I don`t have any friends except that bleedin useless Butler "
"But Mr Jekyll!" said Kite slowly making his way to the door
"Jekyll ! , my names Edward ..Edward Hyde "
"I`m from Hyde " said Kite , who really didn`t think that would help his cause
" I`ve got a strange feeling I need to strangle someone " said Hyde
"Well it`s been nice meeting ..The both of you and I think it`s time to get back " said Kite
And then in a flash Hyde was on top of Kite and with both hands around his neck
"..elp!"
There was a large clang and Hyde`s hand loosened from Kite`s neck
And Hyde fell backwards with both hands still in the air and dropped to the floor revealing Albert with a large frying pan in his hands
"He`s not going to very happy when he wakes up " said Albert
"If he wakes up !! "
Kite pondered on if there was any point of seeing if he had a pulse and then Mr Hyde groaned
"I think we`d best be off " said Albert slowly putting down the frying pan
Kite not one to argue with that piece of good advice and the pair tip toed slowly out of the room and into the hall where Albert slowly put on his coat and then another coat and then a hat
"Are you serious ?" whispered Kite
And then there was an almighty howl from the room that had a sound that would make a ghost leave home
"Run !" screamed Albert who picked up an umbrella from the stand
They both flew out the door but unlike Mr`s Lot in Sodem Kite was not for looking back to find out what horror was coming behind him
"Follow me old man ! "
Kite did`nt hesitate to think what the Shed might to his new passenger after what he had seen the Shed`s reaction to the Rag and Bone man , but he still gritted his teeth as he flew open the Shed door and the duo both fell into the Shed and Kite turned to see the door shut by its self
Then came a thunderous banging on the outside of the Shed
"Hyde ! " said Albert
Kite was not very good when he was put under pressure in any walk of life and when it came down to having any calmness about him , it was non -existent
At the panel again he moved this and he moved that and then the banging stopped
He looked down at the panel
California
1960
There is no way he thought that he put that in , it`s got to be this Shed , it really is becoming so sort of Time traveling tormentor
Kite walked up to the door and he half opened it
It was dark and a dust bowl was blowing and in the distance he could see a neon sign flickering
it read
Bates Motel
Albert pushed past Kite
"Make way boy , I need to start cleaning that mess that Mr Hyde has made , because no doubt he`ll now be wandering the streets and making a right fool of himself and him not having his medicine and that Jack the Ripper on the streets of London the police are going have their hands full.."
Albert stopped talking when he realized he was`nt in London anymore
"Where the bleedin `ell are we boy ?"
"Well ...If my calculations are correct and to be fare I hav`nt seen the film in a very long time where on the the film set of Pyscho at the beginning of the nineteen sixties "
"Psycho ?" said Albert looking at Kite as if he`d lost his mind
"Yes, Psycho , and know that you hav`nt a clue about it as it not been made yet as your about sixty years away from this classic horror film game changer "
" I think you better start talking a bit more sense as I need to know what you have done with the streets of London they were here a few minutes ago " said Albert wishing he had not put the frying pan down .
" I think what we have here " Kite pointed to the Shed " Is a Time Machine "
A Time Machine ! , I see now you`ve been reading that young fellows book , what`s his name ..Wells and I think you`ve lost your sense of reality "
"Blimey , you Victorians had it all going on back then , I wish I have lost my mind as I was one minute having a brew listening to Topographic Oceans then Symbols and then flash , and then I`m back in the seventies where I was meeting myself ten years old and then boom ! I`m in the streets of London and now I`m in Hollywood ! "
Albert really did now wish he`d kept the frying pan
"I`m in Hollywood ! " shouted Kite , who did a bit of a skip and a jump
" I say old man , lets just have a look around , I`m sure your in no hurry to get back to Butlering and looking after that crazy Doctor "
Albert did`nt really think that going back to Jekyll`s or in fact Hyde`s house was an option after all he did take out the latter with the biggest pan he could find "
"Alright then , lets have a look at this Hollywood you seem so excited about "
They both walked up the dusty path towards the neon sign and arrived in a small car park which then at the other end was a stretch of one floor buildings and behind that on a small hill was a very large Gothic house which in one window there was a light coming from it .
Kite could`nt believe that he was actually on the set of one of the most iconic sets of the new modern age of horror films and directed by the one and only master of suspense Alfred Hitchcock
" I can`t not believe it ! , this is surreal ! "
"What are you going on about boy ? " Albert saw there was a light on at the end room of the block of apartments " lets see who`s in there I`m getting very hungry "
As they approached the room Albert looked up to the old Gothic house and could see someone sat at the window
He waved
Not a stir from the window , the shadowy figure did`nt wave back
"Some people have no courtesy " grumbled Albert
They got to the door which had a little plaque
Bates Motel Reception
Kite opened the door and there was a tinkle of a bell above the door
They both approached the desk
"Hello !" shouted Albert
There was a scrape of a chair from the back room and a tall thin man with a white shirt came out of the room with a very unnerving smile on his face and he had eyes darker than a Nick Cave album
"Can I help you gentlemen ?"
"Is this Hollywood ?" asked Albert
"It`s an hotel reception " replied the man
"Tis so " said Albert who was now looking at the decor of the place which seemed to be stuffed birds hanging from every inch of the room .
Kite could`nt believe how different Anthony Perkins looked in real life and keeps in character
"Would you like a room ?"
Kite just stared at Perkins and was unable to bring himself to answer he was starstruck
" I have a double or a single with running hot water "
"Yes ! yes , we`d like a room " Albert who was now getting excited at the thought of running water and the bonus that it`s hot .
Finally Kite had found his voice
"Were sorry to bother you Mr Perkins and we are going now arn`t we Albert "
Kite pulled Albert`s arm who had now turned his attention the the postcard stand
" My names Norman ... Norman Bates , like the sign say`s " he smiled like a Cheshire cat
"like it says on the sign " repeated Albert and he put a postcard on the desk and we`ll take that ..Hot water you say ?"
"Just one night gentlemen ?"
Kite was thinking at what a professional this actor was and at what point was he going to brake character and hopefully Kite could get his autograph .
" So what`s it like working for Mr Hitchcock ?"
Albert and the hotel proprietor both looked at Kite
"There`s only me here ... And Mother here but she`s not a well woman these days so she stays in her room and I do all the chores ..Like changing and washing the linen and you know ..Motel stuff "
"I see you stuff birds " said Albert
"That too " said Norman and he gave Albert a key " I`ll put you in room seven
"Oh my lucky number said Albert putting the key in his top pocket " I`m a seventh son of a seventh son and I was born in the seventh month "
" On the seventh day ?" asked Norman
"No the twenty third "
"Oh..Anyway gentlemen I`ll let you get to your room as it`s getting late and you must be tired with the traveling , may I ask where your from ?"
"Hyde " "London" . Replied the duo in unison
" I see , well sleep tight don`t let the bed bugs bite " Said Norman
"You have bed bugs !" said Albert and he picked up his postcard and set off out the door and when he got outside he waved to the shadowy figure of a woman again at the window
She did`nt wave back
"No manners " and Albert walked down the doors and stopped at number seven
Kite followed aimlessly behind wondering if all of this was real he was hoping it was`nt going to pan out like the movie and he certainly was`nt taking a shower he did`nt want to find out if men dressed in women`s cloths went round with very large knives to the accompany of screehing violins
" Now wheres that hot water !" said Albert opening the door " What a palace ! "
"A palace ! " Kite went over to the double bed and sat on the edge
"What`s that ?! " Albert pointed to a large box in the corner
" It`s a T.V. "
" A T.V.! what the devil is a T.V. ! "
"Nothing to worry about , it`s a bit like those machines you have in your day , a What The Butler Saw , ironically "
"Is It !!! , have you got a farthing handy !! " said Albert who was really getting to love Hollywood as it had hot water and steamy T.V. machines !
" I think we`ll leave it off and get some sleep " said Kite
"Well then I think I`ll take a shower " and Albert went into the bathroom " A palace !" he shouted from inside the bathroom .
Norman had made his way back to the large house
His Mother was sat at the dinner table
"There was no need to wait for me to come back Mother "
No reply
"We have to new guests staying an odd couple , one is dressed like a Victorian Butler and the other looks like a Beatnic "
"His Mother just sat there and did`nt move except a spider crawled out of one her eye sockets
Norman sat down at the table to an empty plate
"Mother do I have to make my own dinner again , you know I don`t have time with running the Motel and looking after you , as you really don`t lift a finger around here "
Norman ! , your not going anyway until you`ve finished your greens !
"Greens ! Greens ! Mother ! there are no greens , no Potatoes , carrots and no cutlery for starters and no starters !"
Norman was insane
Don`t you raise your voice at me young man !
"What are you going to do send me to bed with no supper ! "
Right that`s it boy , your not having any supper for a week you`ll go straight to bed !
" Damn and hell mother if you were still alive I`d take you down to the fruit cellar and leave you to rot !"
Oh no please Norman not the fruit cellar you know I don`t like it down there it`s dark and damp and you know what happened the last time I was down there !
Yes , I do Mother, you died . "
Back at room seven Albert had described to his new companion that the shower was to die for
Albert opened the window and took in the night air and he could hear the argument coming from the house
"He`s got no respect for his Mother that young man , and he should`nt be talkin to her in that tone of voice "
Kite was lying on the bed staring at the T.V. and pondering on what would be on right now if he turned it on
"Why whats going on " Kite asked halfhearted
"Sounds like he`s throwing his Mother in the fruit cellar " replied Albert
"Well my friend the best we can do is go to sleep and in the morning leave this place as soon as possible , he is a actor who is really pushing the limit for a part "
"He`s not acting ! , he sounds very serious indeed "
"Get some sleep Albert , I`m taking you back tomorrow and I`m doing the same "
"Albert got into the other side of the bed and turn off the lamp and pulled up the sheets over his face
"I can smell Moth balls " he said
A few hours passed and Albert was awoken by the sound of Beethoven
Albert had become a light sleeper over the years living with Dr Jekyll .
Jekyll kept strange hours and he would go out after midnight most often threw the unopened window
He would return just before daybreak if he had`nt been arrested
Times were tough in London and jobs like the one he had was one with its ups and downs
He had seen the Job in the paper , it read
Butler Wanted
Must not ask questions and keep his mouth shut at all times and have an opened mind
And most importantly when in the lab no touching and no questions what so ever .
"I can do that !"
He would`nt forget the first day of his new job as his new employer showed him round his Laboratory
It was full of shelves of medicines and tables full of bubbling liquids and Bunsen burners and two, bottles caught his eye as it had a label
Antidote on one and Hyde on the other
He did his mantra in his head
No questions , no questions, and no touching
Then on his very first night he was awoken from a strange noise from Lab
It said nothing about a curiosity in the paper he thought and the one thing that Albert could`nt do is not be a nosey parker and he could keep very quite and creep about and if he got caught he had his list of excuses he had used for many years
His top excuses were .
1. I thought I heard a Burglar
2. I needed to check if I`d turned the oven off
3. I thought I saw an apparition
4. Just checking the calendar to see how many weeks it was till X Mas
5. Thought he smelt the scent of a Dhampyre
He slowly crept down stairs and then like a Ninja he made his way to the location of the noise which happened to be Jekyll`s lab
On the door it had a sign
Do Not Enter
the door was ajar so shut one of his eyes and with his opened eye ( obviously ) he peeped in the lab
There was a man at the desk , it was`nt his new employer , he was very hairy had hands like a Gorilla the suit he had on didn`t fit him at all
Albert gulped
If he had ever seen one he would have said the man was a Werewolf in a three piece suit
Without looking up the creature spoke
"Who are you ?" it said
Albert came into the room and with his book of excuses at the ready but now fear had taken him over and his brain was hiding behind a sofa
"I thought I heard Santa`s sleigh bells" he said
"It`s July " answered the creature
"So it is.. I`m the new Butler "
"I`m Mr Hyde "
"Are you a patient of Dr. Jekyll`s ?" Albert realized he had ask a question
The creature laughed
" No , you could say were close relations "
"Ah well , there you go , best I get off to bed , July you say, Santa`s early " and Albert laughed a nervous laugh and tried to look sleepy with the yawn and the mouth covering ploy
"Do you know were there are any Virgins ?" asked the creature
" The Virgin Islands ? " replied Albert
"How about a goat ?"
" I can make you a club sandwich if you like "
"Never mind I`ll get my own " and with that said he jumped out of the unopened window and the sound of a howl was heard in the distance
Ah yes thought Albert ask no questions and keep my mouth shut and off he went back to bed thanking the lord he was`nt a Virgin or a four legged creature .
Meanwhile back in Hollywood
"Boy " he whispered
No answer
"That`s Beethoven`s Symphony number three in E flat Mayor playing, a classic and no mistake even though he was going deaf ! "
He got dressed and and slowly opened the door that sounded like a tree being cut down .
He looked at Kite , still fast asleep
He set off for the house and Beethoven was becoming louder and Albert started to hum the tune
" Da da dah da ..da ..da da dah..Da ! " he hummed .
The house was atop of a flight of steps which he huffed his way up and finally reached the door , he raised his hand and was just about to knock the music stopped .
" Oh, he must have gone to bed , well I`m here now , in for a penny in for a pound "
He tried the door handle , it was unlocked
He walked in and found himself in a hallway which was decorated with stuffed animals in the corner was a large white Polar bear that wore a bowler hat and at its feet were umbrellas
He had never seen a Polar bear before only in one of Darwin`s books , he had spent many hours in the library looking at the exotic creatures and his most favorite book of Darwin`s was the game changer in evolution
Khafre : Of Mice and Men .
He was just about to pet the bear when he heard a door open from upstairs
"Crikey , better hide" he whispered to the bear
He spotted a few small steps that led to a door under the stairs , he headed down and went through the door
It was pitch black
He blindly ran his hands along the wall until he felt a light switch
He flicked it down
The room was full of crates and through the wooden slats he could see rotten fruit and in the middle of the room was a chair that was facing away from him and sat in the chair was as far as he could make out was an old lady dressed in black .
"Hello madame " he whispered
No answer
He walked up to the woman and tapped her shoulder
Her head dropped off and fell in her lap .
Albert screamed like a little girl threw both his hands in the air and smashed the light bulb above him
He was in pitch black again
"Oh heck!"
He once again shuffled blindly with his hands out in front of him , he knocked the chair and then he kicked the head that rolled across the room making the sound of a coconut
He finally found the stairs and got to the door . He opened it to find a very tall woman dressed from head to foot in black and holding a very large knife above her head
He was just about to scream again and there was an almighty wack and the woman fell head first down the steps as Albert thankfully had moved aside as she fell
He looked up to see Kite holding an Umbrella
" I think that makes us even " said Kite " And what did I tell you "
" I can`t help it , it`s a thing " said Albert looking down at the fallen woman. "Do you think she`s dead ?"
"It`s a he " Oh, I`ve heard about them "
"No ..It`s Norman Bates , or Anthony Perkins " said Kite "I`m not really sure "
Albert reached down and pulled off a wig from the top of the Psycho`s head
"I think we better get going " said Kite as he pulled Albert up from the steps and they left the house
Norman came round and he heard his mother from the cellar
Norman ! you get me out of this cellar I`m getting a chill and I need my blanket
"Who`s paying the bill ?" asked Albert as they walked past the Motel .
They got to the Shed and in an instant the Shed disappeared leaving Hollywood and Norman alone with his mother who was now back in her window with her head back on her shoulders
There`s a car coming Norman and make sure this time they pay there bill
It had started to rain as the car reached the Motel and a blonde haired woman got out of the car and ran in the reception
From the house a man ran through the rain and entered the Reception
"Would you like a room ?" he asked his latest guest .