Post by mrkite23 on Jun 1, 2008 22:50:59 GMT 12
It was yet another cold and wet Bank holiday in the North of England
Kite turned to Albert with a dread that you get when your sat in the dentist waiting room and your hear screams from the room
People before you leave making excuses that they`ve left a pan on
And you will be going in next when a nurse comes out and calls your name and you hope to God she has got it wrong and your thinking that it’s a dream and you will wake up any minute kind of dread
“Albert , I need a holiday away from all this rain and cold ,its almost June and I am still white “
“Holiday !” he said looking up from the book he had started reading when Kite gave him English reading lessons , and Kite must admit it brought a smile to his face when he picked up the phone book and said this looks a good read and has lots of characters in it .
“A Holiday and suppose you wont want to come see how you hate flying “ Kite said in hope he would just say something like
“yes boy you go I will stay here and look after the house “ but it came out like this
“Yes boy , I hate flying but we can go in the shed and we will be there in a second and we will miss out all the nightmare of going to the airport and the terrible meals they give you on the plane and the bloody thing they do in case of a crash , I mean , I think I know where the exits are as I got on the plane on one and its Albert first and the rest after “
“That’s a bit dramatic old man , they don`t crash that often , flying is the safest form of transport “
“And they said the Titanic was unsinkable “ he replied turning a page of the phone book to the B`s
“So your coming then ?“ Kite was hoping he was winding him up enough not to go .
“Yes and I know just the place “ he said,
“Where ?” Kite had resigned myself to the joy of having him with him .
“Cyprus “ he said .
“Cyprus !, why Cyprus ?”
“I have something I need to do when I get there “ Albert replied .
“Well OK then , shall we go now then and we can have a couple of weeks there and come back in five minutes and I can still go work tomorrow and I have saved my holidays and have another holiday , oh yes why not “.
Kite ran upstairs got his sun cream , towel and swim shorts and his I Pod player and book and off they went.
They arrived in Ayia Napa and we parked the shed in a small lane off the beach and nailed the Out Of Order sign on it and off to the beach they went
They got on the beach and Kite got his Mickey Mouse towel spread it on the soft golden sand , glasses on I Pod on his lap switched it on and then turned his book to the first page and then Albert spoke .
“ I need to go to Papohs “ he said
“I just got settled Albert we have plenty of time to see the Island “
“OK we will go tonight “ said Albert and he pulled out the phone book from his coats and sat down .
After a few hours of relaxing and soaking up the Mediterranean sun , Kite`s skin was slowly going red and Albert took one of his coat`s off !
Later that day after they had something to eat , the sun burnt duo made are way back to the Shed and then we set a course to Paphos , or to Petra Tou Romiou to be precise
That was the place where Albert needed to go and they appeared on the beach and they stepped out just as the sun was sinking into the deep blue ocean and the sky was a strange red glow and then Albert walked to the seas edge and shouted at the large rock that was half a mile out to sea .
“I have returned to claim the girl back from her imprisonment Zeus “ he said with out stretched hands looking like Moses in some biblical movie and all that was missing was a burning bush , there was a Barbeque further down the beach , but I guess that doesn’t count .
There was a strange foaming from the sea in front of them and the a small figure started to rise out of the water
Kite was astonished as it was a long haired girl and she came from the sea and her beauty was nothing of this Earth , and yet she looked familiar , and all she was wearing was a smile .
“Stop staring boy and get something to cover the girl up “ said Albert .
Kite went and got his Mickey Mouse beach towel and covered the girl up who now shaking as Kite imagined from the cold sea she just had came out of and then she turned to him and gave Kite an apple that was in her hand .
“ You`ve been doing a bit of erm night swimming miss ?” Kite asked , hoping she would give me an explanation why she just happened to come from the sea at the same time the old bugger was going all dramatic at some rock .
And then the late night swimmer spoke .
What she said was well..
It went something along the lines that Kite was the most handsome but intelligent and funny person she had ever met and she wanted to bare his children and be a forever doting servant and every wish was her command .
But Kite could have sworn it was all in Greek , and he did`nt speak one single word of Greek .
And thing was that he fell completely in love with her from the second she spoke , which was not him as he at least need one date before that happens but there you go .
Albert came back from the edge of the sea with his fingers in his ears pushing what looked like ear plugs .
“We need to find a priest right away ,I have to marry this girl now” said Kite
“Did she speak to you boy ?” asked the old man .
“Why yes , she did and I have fallen in love with her and I need to tell the world ..”
“Boy ! “ interrupted Albert “ this is no ordinary girl this is the goddess of love , she is Aphrodite “ he said and then he passed Kite two ear plugs
“I am sorry boy I should have given you these earlier “he said
Kite looked at Albert`s ears and he had two ear plugs in .
We need to get off the beach boy we are staring to attract a lot of attention .
A Beach football team was coming up the beach .
“You just want her for yourself you selfish old man ! “ said Kite and he punched Albert in the nose , which was very odd as he had have never punched anyone in his life.
Kite grabbed the girl and took her to the Shed and pushed her in and shut the door behind as Albert was getting to his feet and running up the beach .
The shed disappeared and the old man was left on the beach and he spoke to the empty space that was left by the Shed that was no more .
“Oh bugger “ said Albert.
THE Shed arrived back home in the garden and Kite took the girl into the house and then found her some clothes
A t shirt and a pair of Jeans that didn’t fit him anymore and she looked like a goddess Kite had never seen anything so beautiful in all his life and he began to cry at the beauty that stood in front of him with a Black Sabbath T.Shirt and work Jeans on and then there was a knock at the door .
Kite wiped the tears from his cheeks and went to the door still blubbering and he opened it .
“Alright Kite ?”. It was Harry holding up a CD and waving it about in above his head .
“I ve brought back that CD I lent ,Atom Heart Mother , by the Floyd , but what the hell was that Alan`s Psychedelic Breakfast all about ?” he said then he saw the girl stood behind Kite and he stared mouth opened .
“Alan`s Breakfast is the most beautiful piece that has been written by man and it holds all the joys of love poetry the way the sun shines on a new flower that has just seen the beauty of its first sun rise and it beams the transcendent colors of its petals on the world that has woken up to the brand new day “ said Kite .
“Are you bonkers its about a bloody breakfast , with some bloke just rhyming off toast and Marmalade “
And at that very moment Aphrodite spoke
When she had finished Harry fell to his knees and started to weep , and then he said
“I will look after you all my life and I will be your ever servant and I will love you and still love to my grave and then I will still love you in the after life even if there`s overtime “
Now Kite couldn’t understand why he had said this as she was the girl he was going to marry and live the rest of my life in happiness
“Who is this stranger who wants to break up our love and take me away from you ? “
Kite heard her say ?, but he was not really sure ? I don`t speak Greek he thought
So as Harry got up off his knees Kite got hold of Harry`s collar and dragged him out of the house and he slammed the door behind him .
“No chance of lending Wish You Were Here then ?” Harry shouted through the window .
Kite could not understand the rage and anger that he felt when Harry had come into the house
He had never felt like this before but when He was just about to get his bearings the girl spoke once again and he was once again soaked in her beauty and he sat down and once again wept .
Now Kite was a fly in a very tightly closed Venus fly trap and this Melancholy Kite could`nt bare to be apart from the Goddess from the sea it went on for days , Kite couldn’t do anything
He didn’t want to eat or sleep and he knew it doesn’t enter into the charts of the top things he liked to do , but he did`nt even go to work .
Kite became weak and just ended up sitting in my chair and staring at the beauty that was in front of him and how she was just willing to sit there and be admired .
Then one evening there was a noise at the back door and then a smash of glass and Kite tried all his might to go and see what it was , but that meant he had to move from my chair and not look at the woman that had me so much in a state
He thought , “yeh let them take what ever they want , who needs material things when I have the beauty of the Earth , Sun and the Moon all rolled into one “ then all of a sudden he felt hands over my ears and then someone sticking earplugs in his ears .
Kite turned around and it was Albert
“ Albert how the hell ?!..”
You want to know how I got here “ he said
“Pardon”
"As it so happens boy when you left me stranded Cyprus with no money and no passport a small yacht passed by and asked me for directions to England
I said to them has it happens I were going that way and they said jump on board and they would give me a lift , but they were only going as far as the white cliffs of Dover so I had to hitch hike the rest of the way home "
"Well that was handy and it didn`t involve a long drawn out story of how you got home did it Albert ?".
"I think no one noticed boy, and it`s not as though it`s a Booker award chapter we got going on " winked the old man , and then he carried on .
“What ever you do boy do not take out those ear plugs “he shouted , then he went into the kitchen and opened a tin of soup which he then put into a bowl and micro waved it and the brought it in the room for Kite and put it on his lap .
“Would you like some bread with that ?” he asked
Kite didn`t quite hear what he said so Kite then took out an ear plug and then he heard a voice of an angel who had must have fallen from heaven,
and in a panic Albert jumped on top of him the soup went everywhere and he stuck the earplug back into Kite`s ear .
“Ouch ! , what are you doing old man , I have soup all down me and you keep sticking plugs in my ear .”
“You need to keep those in boy or you will be possessed by the beauty of the goddess of love and it will make you insanely jealous when someone else is in the same Town let alone the same room . “ said Albert
“I see “ and then Kite got up and slowly made his way to the kitchen as tomato soup slowly ran down both his legs
When he got cleaned up and had some more soup , Albert sat down and started to tell Kite a tale of how he got mixed up with the goddess of love , or as he called her Aphrodite .
“It came to me last week when I was watching the English Patient “he said
“You are having me on “
“No it was another lifetime
I had as a Greek soldier and I had to look after the temple of Zeus on the mountain of Olympus , where we sacrificed the odd virgin and when they wasn’t many around the odd goat “
So it was virgins first then goats ?”
“That’s right , there wasn’t much of an audience when it was a goat , the Olympians thought the Gods would be impressed by a virgin in those times of free love and what not “
“OK , get to the point then old man .” as Kite`s sun burnt legs were now Soup burnt and smarting like a Grand National winner`s back side
I will , you see one night , it was my turn on the night shift rota and I was all alone
It gets a bit boring and to amuse myself I was throwing stones at the statue of Aphrodite and I hit the top of her arm and it dropped off , and so did the other one and then all of a sudden this beautiful girl came from behind it and she spoke to me, and she said something in a strange voice
It was so beautiful I kneeled down and cried and I told her that I was forever her servant and I would do anything for her and I would give my life up for her .
“Then she spoke to me again “
She said that she wanted me to kill her husband Hephaestus who had chosen to be mortal and make plates for the tourists and not be in Hemispheres with his wife , so of course I said yes as I was enchanted and that night I went to his home and killed him “
“Albert !”
“I know , it was murder but I was under her spell and I couldn’t resist her , but it was not my love she was after it was her lover Mars “
“Mars ?, the planet or the Bar ! ?”
“No the God !” said Albert
“Oh of course ” sniggered Kite .
“Where was I ?”
“Murdering some poor plate maker fellow ? “ answered Kite
“Ah yes , well like I said I was under the spell of the Goddess I went to his home killed him without any remorse and then I went back to the temple and I brought his head with me for dramatic effect but she was gone “
“Then what ?”
“Well her power over me had worn off and I realized what I had done
I am stood there with a head of a man I`d brutally murdered in my hands and so I called to the Gods to forgive me
Then all of a sudden there was a flash of light and an Owl appeared from nowhere and sat on top of the statue of Aphrodite and it spoke .
“I have seen what you have done mortal and I will punish Aphrodite , she will be put on Earth and she`ll be mortal and she will be your servant and wife for eternity“
“Nice “ I said , “but who are you ?”
“I am Zeus “ he said
“Zeus ?” then Kite remembering he said his name on the beach at the rock
“Yes it was the big chief himself, and out from the behind the statue the goddess Aphrodite came to me and he then told me that she is a mere mortal and forever my servant.
But when she dies she must be returned to her birth place Petra Tou Romiou and she will rest there until she has become nothing but a myth and that she is forgotten in ancient history and that she will then be free from her life of limbo in the land of Hades .”
“I see , so she is Aphrodite the goddess of love , but she looks awfully like Lana with the red hair ,but like Kate Bush and then again she looks a bit like that F.B.I. agent “and he started going all warm in the head department .
“Boulder ?!” said Albert
“No Mulley “ said Kite .
“Yes… I was joking boy , the thing is she is what you want her to be and she gets inside your head and all the things that you find beautiful , she becomes and when she speaks that’s it you are in her spell and there is nothing you can do about”
“So what are we going to do with her ?, can we keep her! ?”
“No boy , imagine the trouble if we are going to have with her , as soon as another man sees her we will have to fight them off , we cant stick ear plugs in every man she comes across “
At that very moment there was a knock at the door
Kite went to the window and it was the postman
“Its that Star Wars loving postman , with a parcel , I will open the door and you hide Aphrodite “
And at the very moment Kite opened the door The Goddess spoke and the postman threw the parcel in the air and Kite dived to save it and he ran passed him saying..
I`m coming to save you Princess Leia Organa” and ran through the house like a mad man and then a large saucepan from nowhere hit him on the head .
“Albert ! I hope you havn`t killed the postman “
“He`ll be OK I used a non stick one “ said the old man .
“Not funny one bit , I see what you mean about the problems we are going to have , what are we going to do with her ?”
“We will use the time machine and take her back to her time in ancient Greece “said Albert
Albert and Kite got both ends of the postman and put him on the couch and they took Aphrodite to the Shed and we took her back to ancient
Greece on Mount Olympus
They dropped her off behind her statue as there was a guard who looked very familiar and when they came back home they then carried the postman to the Shed and sent him back the to a few minutes before he knocked on there door
You can imagine the shock he`ll have when he wakes up on the door step with a rather large lump on his head . laughed Kite
A few minutes later he came round and stood up and knocked on the door
“Post “ he shouted
“Morning Postie “ said Kite opening the door .
“Morning !" he replied
"I`ve have just had a black out and I now have a rather large lump on my head , and I am sure as hell I heard the voice of Princess Leia “
“I think you have to stop watching Star Wars , my friend is not good for you try having a Holiday, now and again “
With that Kite shut the door on him , and then opened my parcel , it was a statue of Venus De Milo and both arms were missing .
“I am sure I caught the parcel before it hit the floor “ he said to himself .
Kite turned to Albert with a dread that you get when your sat in the dentist waiting room and your hear screams from the room
People before you leave making excuses that they`ve left a pan on
And you will be going in next when a nurse comes out and calls your name and you hope to God she has got it wrong and your thinking that it’s a dream and you will wake up any minute kind of dread
“Albert , I need a holiday away from all this rain and cold ,its almost June and I am still white “
“Holiday !” he said looking up from the book he had started reading when Kite gave him English reading lessons , and Kite must admit it brought a smile to his face when he picked up the phone book and said this looks a good read and has lots of characters in it .
“A Holiday and suppose you wont want to come see how you hate flying “ Kite said in hope he would just say something like
“yes boy you go I will stay here and look after the house “ but it came out like this
“Yes boy , I hate flying but we can go in the shed and we will be there in a second and we will miss out all the nightmare of going to the airport and the terrible meals they give you on the plane and the bloody thing they do in case of a crash , I mean , I think I know where the exits are as I got on the plane on one and its Albert first and the rest after “
“That’s a bit dramatic old man , they don`t crash that often , flying is the safest form of transport “
“And they said the Titanic was unsinkable “ he replied turning a page of the phone book to the B`s
“So your coming then ?“ Kite was hoping he was winding him up enough not to go .
“Yes and I know just the place “ he said,
“Where ?” Kite had resigned myself to the joy of having him with him .
“Cyprus “ he said .
“Cyprus !, why Cyprus ?”
“I have something I need to do when I get there “ Albert replied .
“Well OK then , shall we go now then and we can have a couple of weeks there and come back in five minutes and I can still go work tomorrow and I have saved my holidays and have another holiday , oh yes why not “.
Kite ran upstairs got his sun cream , towel and swim shorts and his I Pod player and book and off they went.
They arrived in Ayia Napa and we parked the shed in a small lane off the beach and nailed the Out Of Order sign on it and off to the beach they went
They got on the beach and Kite got his Mickey Mouse towel spread it on the soft golden sand , glasses on I Pod on his lap switched it on and then turned his book to the first page and then Albert spoke .
“ I need to go to Papohs “ he said
“I just got settled Albert we have plenty of time to see the Island “
“OK we will go tonight “ said Albert and he pulled out the phone book from his coats and sat down .
After a few hours of relaxing and soaking up the Mediterranean sun , Kite`s skin was slowly going red and Albert took one of his coat`s off !
Later that day after they had something to eat , the sun burnt duo made are way back to the Shed and then we set a course to Paphos , or to Petra Tou Romiou to be precise
That was the place where Albert needed to go and they appeared on the beach and they stepped out just as the sun was sinking into the deep blue ocean and the sky was a strange red glow and then Albert walked to the seas edge and shouted at the large rock that was half a mile out to sea .
“I have returned to claim the girl back from her imprisonment Zeus “ he said with out stretched hands looking like Moses in some biblical movie and all that was missing was a burning bush , there was a Barbeque further down the beach , but I guess that doesn’t count .
There was a strange foaming from the sea in front of them and the a small figure started to rise out of the water
Kite was astonished as it was a long haired girl and she came from the sea and her beauty was nothing of this Earth , and yet she looked familiar , and all she was wearing was a smile .
“Stop staring boy and get something to cover the girl up “ said Albert .
Kite went and got his Mickey Mouse beach towel and covered the girl up who now shaking as Kite imagined from the cold sea she just had came out of and then she turned to him and gave Kite an apple that was in her hand .
“ You`ve been doing a bit of erm night swimming miss ?” Kite asked , hoping she would give me an explanation why she just happened to come from the sea at the same time the old bugger was going all dramatic at some rock .
And then the late night swimmer spoke .
What she said was well..
It went something along the lines that Kite was the most handsome but intelligent and funny person she had ever met and she wanted to bare his children and be a forever doting servant and every wish was her command .
But Kite could have sworn it was all in Greek , and he did`nt speak one single word of Greek .
And thing was that he fell completely in love with her from the second she spoke , which was not him as he at least need one date before that happens but there you go .
Albert came back from the edge of the sea with his fingers in his ears pushing what looked like ear plugs .
“We need to find a priest right away ,I have to marry this girl now” said Kite
“Did she speak to you boy ?” asked the old man .
“Why yes , she did and I have fallen in love with her and I need to tell the world ..”
“Boy ! “ interrupted Albert “ this is no ordinary girl this is the goddess of love , she is Aphrodite “ he said and then he passed Kite two ear plugs
“I am sorry boy I should have given you these earlier “he said
Kite looked at Albert`s ears and he had two ear plugs in .
We need to get off the beach boy we are staring to attract a lot of attention .
A Beach football team was coming up the beach .
“You just want her for yourself you selfish old man ! “ said Kite and he punched Albert in the nose , which was very odd as he had have never punched anyone in his life.
Kite grabbed the girl and took her to the Shed and pushed her in and shut the door behind as Albert was getting to his feet and running up the beach .
The shed disappeared and the old man was left on the beach and he spoke to the empty space that was left by the Shed that was no more .
“Oh bugger “ said Albert.
THE Shed arrived back home in the garden and Kite took the girl into the house and then found her some clothes
A t shirt and a pair of Jeans that didn’t fit him anymore and she looked like a goddess Kite had never seen anything so beautiful in all his life and he began to cry at the beauty that stood in front of him with a Black Sabbath T.Shirt and work Jeans on and then there was a knock at the door .
Kite wiped the tears from his cheeks and went to the door still blubbering and he opened it .
“Alright Kite ?”. It was Harry holding up a CD and waving it about in above his head .
“I ve brought back that CD I lent ,Atom Heart Mother , by the Floyd , but what the hell was that Alan`s Psychedelic Breakfast all about ?” he said then he saw the girl stood behind Kite and he stared mouth opened .
“Alan`s Breakfast is the most beautiful piece that has been written by man and it holds all the joys of love poetry the way the sun shines on a new flower that has just seen the beauty of its first sun rise and it beams the transcendent colors of its petals on the world that has woken up to the brand new day “ said Kite .
“Are you bonkers its about a bloody breakfast , with some bloke just rhyming off toast and Marmalade “
And at that very moment Aphrodite spoke
When she had finished Harry fell to his knees and started to weep , and then he said
“I will look after you all my life and I will be your ever servant and I will love you and still love to my grave and then I will still love you in the after life even if there`s overtime “
Now Kite couldn’t understand why he had said this as she was the girl he was going to marry and live the rest of my life in happiness
“Who is this stranger who wants to break up our love and take me away from you ? “
Kite heard her say ?, but he was not really sure ? I don`t speak Greek he thought
So as Harry got up off his knees Kite got hold of Harry`s collar and dragged him out of the house and he slammed the door behind him .
“No chance of lending Wish You Were Here then ?” Harry shouted through the window .
Kite could not understand the rage and anger that he felt when Harry had come into the house
He had never felt like this before but when He was just about to get his bearings the girl spoke once again and he was once again soaked in her beauty and he sat down and once again wept .
Now Kite was a fly in a very tightly closed Venus fly trap and this Melancholy Kite could`nt bare to be apart from the Goddess from the sea it went on for days , Kite couldn’t do anything
He didn’t want to eat or sleep and he knew it doesn’t enter into the charts of the top things he liked to do , but he did`nt even go to work .
Kite became weak and just ended up sitting in my chair and staring at the beauty that was in front of him and how she was just willing to sit there and be admired .
Then one evening there was a noise at the back door and then a smash of glass and Kite tried all his might to go and see what it was , but that meant he had to move from my chair and not look at the woman that had me so much in a state
He thought , “yeh let them take what ever they want , who needs material things when I have the beauty of the Earth , Sun and the Moon all rolled into one “ then all of a sudden he felt hands over my ears and then someone sticking earplugs in his ears .
Kite turned around and it was Albert
“ Albert how the hell ?!..”
You want to know how I got here “ he said
“Pardon”
"As it so happens boy when you left me stranded Cyprus with no money and no passport a small yacht passed by and asked me for directions to England
I said to them has it happens I were going that way and they said jump on board and they would give me a lift , but they were only going as far as the white cliffs of Dover so I had to hitch hike the rest of the way home "
"Well that was handy and it didn`t involve a long drawn out story of how you got home did it Albert ?".
"I think no one noticed boy, and it`s not as though it`s a Booker award chapter we got going on " winked the old man , and then he carried on .
“What ever you do boy do not take out those ear plugs “he shouted , then he went into the kitchen and opened a tin of soup which he then put into a bowl and micro waved it and the brought it in the room for Kite and put it on his lap .
“Would you like some bread with that ?” he asked
Kite didn`t quite hear what he said so Kite then took out an ear plug and then he heard a voice of an angel who had must have fallen from heaven,
and in a panic Albert jumped on top of him the soup went everywhere and he stuck the earplug back into Kite`s ear .
“Ouch ! , what are you doing old man , I have soup all down me and you keep sticking plugs in my ear .”
“You need to keep those in boy or you will be possessed by the beauty of the goddess of love and it will make you insanely jealous when someone else is in the same Town let alone the same room . “ said Albert
“I see “ and then Kite got up and slowly made his way to the kitchen as tomato soup slowly ran down both his legs
When he got cleaned up and had some more soup , Albert sat down and started to tell Kite a tale of how he got mixed up with the goddess of love , or as he called her Aphrodite .
“It came to me last week when I was watching the English Patient “he said
“You are having me on “
“No it was another lifetime
I had as a Greek soldier and I had to look after the temple of Zeus on the mountain of Olympus , where we sacrificed the odd virgin and when they wasn’t many around the odd goat “
So it was virgins first then goats ?”
“That’s right , there wasn’t much of an audience when it was a goat , the Olympians thought the Gods would be impressed by a virgin in those times of free love and what not “
“OK , get to the point then old man .” as Kite`s sun burnt legs were now Soup burnt and smarting like a Grand National winner`s back side
I will , you see one night , it was my turn on the night shift rota and I was all alone
It gets a bit boring and to amuse myself I was throwing stones at the statue of Aphrodite and I hit the top of her arm and it dropped off , and so did the other one and then all of a sudden this beautiful girl came from behind it and she spoke to me, and she said something in a strange voice
It was so beautiful I kneeled down and cried and I told her that I was forever her servant and I would do anything for her and I would give my life up for her .
“Then she spoke to me again “
She said that she wanted me to kill her husband Hephaestus who had chosen to be mortal and make plates for the tourists and not be in Hemispheres with his wife , so of course I said yes as I was enchanted and that night I went to his home and killed him “
“Albert !”
“I know , it was murder but I was under her spell and I couldn’t resist her , but it was not my love she was after it was her lover Mars “
“Mars ?, the planet or the Bar ! ?”
“No the God !” said Albert
“Oh of course ” sniggered Kite .
“Where was I ?”
“Murdering some poor plate maker fellow ? “ answered Kite
“Ah yes , well like I said I was under the spell of the Goddess I went to his home killed him without any remorse and then I went back to the temple and I brought his head with me for dramatic effect but she was gone “
“Then what ?”
“Well her power over me had worn off and I realized what I had done
I am stood there with a head of a man I`d brutally murdered in my hands and so I called to the Gods to forgive me
Then all of a sudden there was a flash of light and an Owl appeared from nowhere and sat on top of the statue of Aphrodite and it spoke .
“I have seen what you have done mortal and I will punish Aphrodite , she will be put on Earth and she`ll be mortal and she will be your servant and wife for eternity“
“Nice “ I said , “but who are you ?”
“I am Zeus “ he said
“Zeus ?” then Kite remembering he said his name on the beach at the rock
“Yes it was the big chief himself, and out from the behind the statue the goddess Aphrodite came to me and he then told me that she is a mere mortal and forever my servant.
But when she dies she must be returned to her birth place Petra Tou Romiou and she will rest there until she has become nothing but a myth and that she is forgotten in ancient history and that she will then be free from her life of limbo in the land of Hades .”
“I see , so she is Aphrodite the goddess of love , but she looks awfully like Lana with the red hair ,but like Kate Bush and then again she looks a bit like that F.B.I. agent “and he started going all warm in the head department .
“Boulder ?!” said Albert
“No Mulley “ said Kite .
“Yes… I was joking boy , the thing is she is what you want her to be and she gets inside your head and all the things that you find beautiful , she becomes and when she speaks that’s it you are in her spell and there is nothing you can do about”
“So what are we going to do with her ?, can we keep her! ?”
“No boy , imagine the trouble if we are going to have with her , as soon as another man sees her we will have to fight them off , we cant stick ear plugs in every man she comes across “
At that very moment there was a knock at the door
Kite went to the window and it was the postman
“Its that Star Wars loving postman , with a parcel , I will open the door and you hide Aphrodite “
And at the very moment Kite opened the door The Goddess spoke and the postman threw the parcel in the air and Kite dived to save it and he ran passed him saying..
I`m coming to save you Princess Leia Organa” and ran through the house like a mad man and then a large saucepan from nowhere hit him on the head .
“Albert ! I hope you havn`t killed the postman “
“He`ll be OK I used a non stick one “ said the old man .
“Not funny one bit , I see what you mean about the problems we are going to have , what are we going to do with her ?”
“We will use the time machine and take her back to her time in ancient Greece “said Albert
Albert and Kite got both ends of the postman and put him on the couch and they took Aphrodite to the Shed and we took her back to ancient
Greece on Mount Olympus
They dropped her off behind her statue as there was a guard who looked very familiar and when they came back home they then carried the postman to the Shed and sent him back the to a few minutes before he knocked on there door
You can imagine the shock he`ll have when he wakes up on the door step with a rather large lump on his head . laughed Kite
A few minutes later he came round and stood up and knocked on the door
“Post “ he shouted
“Morning Postie “ said Kite opening the door .
“Morning !" he replied
"I`ve have just had a black out and I now have a rather large lump on my head , and I am sure as hell I heard the voice of Princess Leia “
“I think you have to stop watching Star Wars , my friend is not good for you try having a Holiday, now and again “
With that Kite shut the door on him , and then opened my parcel , it was a statue of Venus De Milo and both arms were missing .
“I am sure I caught the parcel before it hit the floor “ he said to himself .