Post by mrkite23 on Jul 10, 2008 9:43:52 GMT 12
Kite checked his pulse , and there was nothing at all , this can not be right , it isn’t right “Albert !
"Get up your old fool don`t you do this to me , and grabbed his back collar and lifted him up to me , he was a dead weight , Kite slowly let him down again and reached into my jeans pocket and dialed for the emergency service.
“Which service do you require ?” said the woman on the other end of the phone
“Ambulance ! , right away , please be quick “
“Who is in need of attention sir ,and where is your address ?“
“His name is Albert and I`m on Raglan Street in Hyde “ he replied
“Which number sir ?”
“I am on the street , just next to the Canal , please hurry “
The Ambulance was about five minutes but it seemed a life time to Kite , the crew jumped out and the woman pulled out a stethoscope and ripped open Albert`s shirt and listened to his heart , then she turned to her college , “he`s gone I`m afraid “ she said .
“No he can`t be , he dosn`t die he`s not a normal person like you and me he is a Astral Traveler , he is immortal he is my friend “
They put him on a stretcher and put him into back of the ambulance and then the woman turned to Kite
“I think you best come with us sir , I think your in shock and we need to know what happened to your friend “ she said .
“What are you going to do with him ?“ Kite asked
“We will give him an autopsy sir to see how he died “she replied , taking Kites arm and helping me into the ambulance .
“The thing is you see , you cant give him an autopsy , you see hes not dead .”
There was total silence on the way to the hospital kite just stared at Albert hoping he would see a sign of life but there was nothing , but then there was a stir in side one of Albert`s coats and Kite reached down and opened it up and there was a little head of a mouse it was Eric and the ambulance women screamed .
“Its OK miss , its only Eric “ said Kite and he put him on the palm of his hand and raised the mouse to his face
“what the hell happened Eric ?” said Kite , no response with the exception of a worried look on the woman`s face .
The mouse just washed his ears and then just sat down on Kites hand .
The woman turned to Kite “What was the name of your friend Mr ?”
“Kite , what do you mean was ?,his name is Albert “
“Albert ?” said the woman
“Van Helsing “replied Kite not realizing what he just had done
“Van Helsing isn’t that the name of the Doctor in them Dracula films?” said the man at the side of the woman who had spent most of his time holding all the instruments as the ambulance was flying down the road .
“Yes I think it is “ said Kite .
The ambulance stopped and the doors flew open , they were at the hospital .
A nurse asked Kite if he was a relative , Kite just shook his head and she told him he would have to wait in the A & E waiting room and they will call him when the doctors have had a look at him .
Kite went and sat down , the room was packed out with people , the usual kid with a frying pan stuck on his head and sat next to Kite was a man dressed in a football kit holding up his arm as if it was a new born baby .
“Alright ?” said the man .
Kite looked up at the man , “yeah`, what you’ve done there ?”
“I think I`ve broke my arm “ said the man
“What doing ?” asked Kite .“Playing football “ replied the man and gesturing with his other arm at his football kit .
“Oh yeah “ said Kite .
Then a nurse came onto the room and shouted a name that made Kite look up
“Harry Mc Digger !” she said and at the back of the room a man got up , it was Harry !
“Harry!” shouted Kite .“Kite !” said Harry and then went into a small room , Kite was staring opened mouth has Harry had dead Fox hanging off his arm ? .
Kite could hear screams from the room and a sound of a electric saw .
A few minutes later Harry came out of the room minus a dead Fox .
He went across to Kite and sat down holding his arm and trying to repair his jacket that was torn to shreds and full of blood .
“What then hell happened to you !” Kite asked
“I was jumped by that bloody fox in the cemetery , I was half way down the grave I was digging and he bloody jumped me so I hit him with my spade and I killed him and his jaw ceased up and I couldn’t get him off , so here I am “ and Harry looked at his arm and when went white .
“I see and your surname , Mc Digger , you having a laugh right , your not telling me your Scottish and called Mc Digger , you do not talk like your Scottish “
“I am Scottish “ said Harry with the colour coming back to his face .
“How long ?“
“All my life” said Harry
“And you became a grave digger !”
“Yeah , I went for a job for at the council and they asked me what I could do ,
I thought he asked me what was my name as I had been to see Black Sabbath the night before and I couldn’t hear a thing , so I said Mc Digger and they said we have a opening for a digger , as the interviewer was a bit deaf and I got the job and he said how long have I been a digger and I said all my life , and he said that long , and I said six foot . “
“Sorry I asked “said Kite rubbing the back of his head .
“What you doing in here then and what the hell was Marilyn Monroe doing in your house last week? “said Harry
“Its Albert” said Kite “Marilyn ! Oh she`s a relation of mine she is a look alike , she does adverts and that , she makes a living out of dead people , bit like yourself “ lied Kite as he then thought of Aphrodite and how she looked to different people and Harry must also like dead girls and any girl with a pulse .
“What ! , so have you got her number ?.. And the old bugger is he alright ?”
“No.. I don’t know they said he was dead , but hes not dead and they are going to do a Autopsy on him .”
The autopsy is going to be a bit of a nightmare if he isn’t “ said Harry .
“God yeah ! , we cant let them cut him up he wont be a happy chap when he comes round , we need to save him Harry “said Kite getting to his feet
The footballer looked up at Kite and then he said” I had a friend who woke up once on the operating table and he had only come to visit his Auntie who had a ingrown toenail and she went to the bathroom and my mate had been on nights and he thought he`d have a little lie down and he went to sleep, his aunt who was on the loo she
also fell asleep as they had just gave her a sleeping pill and the came and took him to the operating room and he woke up without his big toenail , scary or what ?”
Kite and Harry just looked at him .”Come on Harry we need to find Albert “ said Kite.
They both set off when a nurse came up to Harry
“Alright Harry , what you doing in here have you come to apologize to me “ she said
“No I came with a fox on the end of my arm “ he said
And with that she slapped him and walked away .
“What the hell was that about ?” asked Kite
“Oh nothing really “ said Harry rubbing his face “ I just thought that when I used to date her I always called her a Foxy Lady , you know the Hendrix song , I think she thought I came here with another woman . “
“This is turning into one hell of a week “ said Kite then went to the hospital map on the wall
“what you looking for ?”
“The Mortuary “ said Kite without turning round to look at Harry
“I know where it is “ said Harry
“You do ?, why would you know that “ asked Kite who had give up on the map and turned to Harry .
“Well I am in the Dead trade “ replied Harry and he set of waving Kite on “This way “
They set off down a long and dark corridor until they went down a flight of steps and to a door with a man sat outside .
“Alright Harry how`s it hanging ?” said the man who was drinking from a cup off the top of a flask .
“Slightly to the left “ replied Harry
“ You come to pick up , who`s your mate E gor ? “ said the man
“Its Igor “ said Kite.”
Pleased to meet you “ replied the man “Works every time eh Harry “said the man and finished his drink .
“Yeah you’re a funny man Bill , yeah we have come to pick up “ said Harry
“What name is it “ said Bill looking at his clipboard that was hanging on a rusty nail on the wall .
“Van Helsing “ said Kite .“Van Helsing !” said Harry
"Isn`t that the name of of the real Doctor Watson?" said the man who now was looking at the two men in front of him and looking at Kite as though he knew him .
“I have seen you somewhere before , were you in a band ?” he asked
“I was , it was a long time a go” said Kite who was now looking over his shoulder a he knew he didn’t have time to go into his rock n roll youth .
“ Did you write songs ?”
“I started to write one on a back of a bus once” said Kite
“Did you finish it “ asked Bill
“No it drove off “
“Ha ha ha ! “laughed Bill “ you got me back , you look so familiar , I could swear I have seen you in a Pink Floyd book , but you don’t look old enough , ah well my mistake , so its Van Helsing “ .
He ran his finger down the clipboard until he stopped at the bottom
“ Ah yes came in about an hour ago , my that’s a bit quick to sort his burial out “ and then there was a clang and he dropped to the floor and behind him was Kite with a bed pan in his hands .
“What the .. “ said Harry
“We havnt got time for all this Harry get the keys , we have to get Albert out of here before they come and cut him up , and I`ll tell you we wont want to be around when that happens I know he`s not going to like it hes not into operations “
“Your insane” said Harry and got the key from the table and opened the door .
The room was cold and dark and there was lots of large draws on one side of the wall and the two body snatchers walked up to the wall and began to read the little white name tabs on each draw.
“ Here he is “ said Kite and he opened the draw and it slide open and inside was a body bag .
“Are you going to check if its him “ said Harry .
Kite slowly unzipped the bag and there was Albert very white and very dead .
“He looks dead to me Kite and I know a dead body when I see one , it’s a trade thing you know part of the job , you know you cant go around burying live people you get a written warning and sent to the park patrol for a few weeks scraping up dog ..”
“Come on Harry grabs his legs we need to get him out of here “ said Kite zipping back up the bag .
The two men lifted the body off the tray and then dragged it to the door where Kite slightly opened it and stuck his head outside
“All clear lets go “ and they stepped over Bill who was still lying on the floor and set off down the corridor until they came to an empty Gurney and the put Albert on it and they set off to the exit and to Harry`s van .
When they got to Kites house it was dark and they both jumped out and rushed round to the back of the van and carried the body bag as fast they could up to the front door , Kite fumbled in his pocket for his key and at that moment the door opened up and a young girl was stood there
“Who the hell is this ?” said Harry
“This is Lana “ said Kite .
To Be Cont ....
"Get up your old fool don`t you do this to me , and grabbed his back collar and lifted him up to me , he was a dead weight , Kite slowly let him down again and reached into my jeans pocket and dialed for the emergency service.
“Which service do you require ?” said the woman on the other end of the phone
“Ambulance ! , right away , please be quick “
“Who is in need of attention sir ,and where is your address ?“
“His name is Albert and I`m on Raglan Street in Hyde “ he replied
“Which number sir ?”
“I am on the street , just next to the Canal , please hurry “
The Ambulance was about five minutes but it seemed a life time to Kite , the crew jumped out and the woman pulled out a stethoscope and ripped open Albert`s shirt and listened to his heart , then she turned to her college , “he`s gone I`m afraid “ she said .
“No he can`t be , he dosn`t die he`s not a normal person like you and me he is a Astral Traveler , he is immortal he is my friend “
They put him on a stretcher and put him into back of the ambulance and then the woman turned to Kite
“I think you best come with us sir , I think your in shock and we need to know what happened to your friend “ she said .
“What are you going to do with him ?“ Kite asked
“We will give him an autopsy sir to see how he died “she replied , taking Kites arm and helping me into the ambulance .
“The thing is you see , you cant give him an autopsy , you see hes not dead .”
There was total silence on the way to the hospital kite just stared at Albert hoping he would see a sign of life but there was nothing , but then there was a stir in side one of Albert`s coats and Kite reached down and opened it up and there was a little head of a mouse it was Eric and the ambulance women screamed .
“Its OK miss , its only Eric “ said Kite and he put him on the palm of his hand and raised the mouse to his face
“what the hell happened Eric ?” said Kite , no response with the exception of a worried look on the woman`s face .
The mouse just washed his ears and then just sat down on Kites hand .
The woman turned to Kite “What was the name of your friend Mr ?”
“Kite , what do you mean was ?,his name is Albert “
“Albert ?” said the woman
“Van Helsing “replied Kite not realizing what he just had done
“Van Helsing isn’t that the name of the Doctor in them Dracula films?” said the man at the side of the woman who had spent most of his time holding all the instruments as the ambulance was flying down the road .
“Yes I think it is “ said Kite .
The ambulance stopped and the doors flew open , they were at the hospital .
A nurse asked Kite if he was a relative , Kite just shook his head and she told him he would have to wait in the A & E waiting room and they will call him when the doctors have had a look at him .
Kite went and sat down , the room was packed out with people , the usual kid with a frying pan stuck on his head and sat next to Kite was a man dressed in a football kit holding up his arm as if it was a new born baby .
“Alright ?” said the man .
Kite looked up at the man , “yeah`, what you’ve done there ?”
“I think I`ve broke my arm “ said the man
“What doing ?” asked Kite .“Playing football “ replied the man and gesturing with his other arm at his football kit .
“Oh yeah “ said Kite .
Then a nurse came onto the room and shouted a name that made Kite look up
“Harry Mc Digger !” she said and at the back of the room a man got up , it was Harry !
“Harry!” shouted Kite .“Kite !” said Harry and then went into a small room , Kite was staring opened mouth has Harry had dead Fox hanging off his arm ? .
Kite could hear screams from the room and a sound of a electric saw .
A few minutes later Harry came out of the room minus a dead Fox .
He went across to Kite and sat down holding his arm and trying to repair his jacket that was torn to shreds and full of blood .
“What then hell happened to you !” Kite asked
“I was jumped by that bloody fox in the cemetery , I was half way down the grave I was digging and he bloody jumped me so I hit him with my spade and I killed him and his jaw ceased up and I couldn’t get him off , so here I am “ and Harry looked at his arm and when went white .
“I see and your surname , Mc Digger , you having a laugh right , your not telling me your Scottish and called Mc Digger , you do not talk like your Scottish “
“I am Scottish “ said Harry with the colour coming back to his face .
“How long ?“
“All my life” said Harry
“And you became a grave digger !”
“Yeah , I went for a job for at the council and they asked me what I could do ,
I thought he asked me what was my name as I had been to see Black Sabbath the night before and I couldn’t hear a thing , so I said Mc Digger and they said we have a opening for a digger , as the interviewer was a bit deaf and I got the job and he said how long have I been a digger and I said all my life , and he said that long , and I said six foot . “
“Sorry I asked “said Kite rubbing the back of his head .
“What you doing in here then and what the hell was Marilyn Monroe doing in your house last week? “said Harry
“Its Albert” said Kite “Marilyn ! Oh she`s a relation of mine she is a look alike , she does adverts and that , she makes a living out of dead people , bit like yourself “ lied Kite as he then thought of Aphrodite and how she looked to different people and Harry must also like dead girls and any girl with a pulse .
“What ! , so have you got her number ?.. And the old bugger is he alright ?”
“No.. I don’t know they said he was dead , but hes not dead and they are going to do a Autopsy on him .”
The autopsy is going to be a bit of a nightmare if he isn’t “ said Harry .
“God yeah ! , we cant let them cut him up he wont be a happy chap when he comes round , we need to save him Harry “said Kite getting to his feet
The footballer looked up at Kite and then he said” I had a friend who woke up once on the operating table and he had only come to visit his Auntie who had a ingrown toenail and she went to the bathroom and my mate had been on nights and he thought he`d have a little lie down and he went to sleep, his aunt who was on the loo she
also fell asleep as they had just gave her a sleeping pill and the came and took him to the operating room and he woke up without his big toenail , scary or what ?”
Kite and Harry just looked at him .”Come on Harry we need to find Albert “ said Kite.
They both set off when a nurse came up to Harry
“Alright Harry , what you doing in here have you come to apologize to me “ she said
“No I came with a fox on the end of my arm “ he said
And with that she slapped him and walked away .
“What the hell was that about ?” asked Kite
“Oh nothing really “ said Harry rubbing his face “ I just thought that when I used to date her I always called her a Foxy Lady , you know the Hendrix song , I think she thought I came here with another woman . “
“This is turning into one hell of a week “ said Kite then went to the hospital map on the wall
“what you looking for ?”
“The Mortuary “ said Kite without turning round to look at Harry
“I know where it is “ said Harry
“You do ?, why would you know that “ asked Kite who had give up on the map and turned to Harry .
“Well I am in the Dead trade “ replied Harry and he set of waving Kite on “This way “
They set off down a long and dark corridor until they went down a flight of steps and to a door with a man sat outside .
“Alright Harry how`s it hanging ?” said the man who was drinking from a cup off the top of a flask .
“Slightly to the left “ replied Harry
“ You come to pick up , who`s your mate E gor ? “ said the man
“Its Igor “ said Kite.”
Pleased to meet you “ replied the man “Works every time eh Harry “said the man and finished his drink .
“Yeah you’re a funny man Bill , yeah we have come to pick up “ said Harry
“What name is it “ said Bill looking at his clipboard that was hanging on a rusty nail on the wall .
“Van Helsing “ said Kite .“Van Helsing !” said Harry
"Isn`t that the name of of the real Doctor Watson?" said the man who now was looking at the two men in front of him and looking at Kite as though he knew him .
“I have seen you somewhere before , were you in a band ?” he asked
“I was , it was a long time a go” said Kite who was now looking over his shoulder a he knew he didn’t have time to go into his rock n roll youth .
“ Did you write songs ?”
“I started to write one on a back of a bus once” said Kite
“Did you finish it “ asked Bill
“No it drove off “
“Ha ha ha ! “laughed Bill “ you got me back , you look so familiar , I could swear I have seen you in a Pink Floyd book , but you don’t look old enough , ah well my mistake , so its Van Helsing “ .
He ran his finger down the clipboard until he stopped at the bottom
“ Ah yes came in about an hour ago , my that’s a bit quick to sort his burial out “ and then there was a clang and he dropped to the floor and behind him was Kite with a bed pan in his hands .
“What the .. “ said Harry
“We havnt got time for all this Harry get the keys , we have to get Albert out of here before they come and cut him up , and I`ll tell you we wont want to be around when that happens I know he`s not going to like it hes not into operations “
“Your insane” said Harry and got the key from the table and opened the door .
The room was cold and dark and there was lots of large draws on one side of the wall and the two body snatchers walked up to the wall and began to read the little white name tabs on each draw.
“ Here he is “ said Kite and he opened the draw and it slide open and inside was a body bag .
“Are you going to check if its him “ said Harry .
Kite slowly unzipped the bag and there was Albert very white and very dead .
“He looks dead to me Kite and I know a dead body when I see one , it’s a trade thing you know part of the job , you know you cant go around burying live people you get a written warning and sent to the park patrol for a few weeks scraping up dog ..”
“Come on Harry grabs his legs we need to get him out of here “ said Kite zipping back up the bag .
The two men lifted the body off the tray and then dragged it to the door where Kite slightly opened it and stuck his head outside
“All clear lets go “ and they stepped over Bill who was still lying on the floor and set off down the corridor until they came to an empty Gurney and the put Albert on it and they set off to the exit and to Harry`s van .
When they got to Kites house it was dark and they both jumped out and rushed round to the back of the van and carried the body bag as fast they could up to the front door , Kite fumbled in his pocket for his key and at that moment the door opened up and a young girl was stood there
“Who the hell is this ?” said Harry
“This is Lana “ said Kite .
To Be Cont ....