Post by mrkite23 on Apr 23, 2008 8:42:30 GMT 12
Kite got up early , on this cold but beautiful morning the sky was cloudless for a change and the sun was shining its rays threw the dying leaves on the trees on this Autumn Saturday .
Albert was already up . "do you fancy a walk in the cemetery this morning?" Kite asked
No I don`t , thank you
He was sat looking at the Time Machine through the window
"How about we taking that Time Machine for a spin ?" he said .
"No Albert , I'm sorry but its not a good idea , its nothing but trouble"
"what the hell are you doing with it then , if your never going to use it , and where the hell on Octainia did you get it ?" he said .
I`m minding it for a friend said Kite sheepishly
Explain yourself boy ,I`ll put the kettle on said Albert
"Don't forget the biscuits!" .
"Well it all started when I was a 20 years old when I lived my mum and dad and my parents went on holiday to Cornwall for 2 weeks..."
"been there, its nice and solved a crime" ,said Albert with a grin on his face .
So I`m on my own and had the house to myself , brought the stereo from upstairs, and this particular night it was hot so I sat at the door , its wide open with Floyd playing and I sat there it seemed for hours, it must have been about 2 o clock in the morning .
I had dozed off and when I woke up there was a shed on the street .
"The Time Machine" Albert said .
That`s right and the door opened and out stepped this young girl .
"Your joking !" Albert said sitting up in his chair and stroking his beard .
No , I do not jest , she came over to me "what year is it " she asked .
A strange question to ask, but I answered anyway
"1982 " I replied
"Oh dear , that things playing up again "she said turning round to the shed in the middle of the street.
"How can a shed be playing up ?" I asked
"Oh nothing to worry about" she said "any chance of me staying here with you awhile ?"
"A While ?" yeah why not ! I said looking her up and down she was very nice looking .
"What boy?" said Albert .
I mean,ahem she did nt look dangerous or anything ."
So we went into the house , I asked her if she would like a cup of tea ?,"
"Is this England ?" she asked ."Of course it is " where the devil did you think you were ?
"Oh nowhere "she replied
"So What are you doing in the middle of the night in a shed , that seems to appeared from nowhere?" I asked her passing her a cup of tea .
"Oh its a long story , whats your name ?" she asked
"Kite"
"Are your parents hippies ? or something ?"
"No , my dad`s an accountant"
"Ah.."
"And your name is? "
"Lana"
Albert spilled his tea and nearly chocked on his Jaffa Cake. ( which technically is not a biscuit )
"Explain yourself old man "
"I think it`s time for my bath "
"Albert! what have you been up too ?"
"You never said anything when I brought the girl here "he said .
"First rule of time traveling is never discuss anything about the past or future , of what has happened or about to happen , but you old man have a lot of explaining to do" .
My rubber Duck will be getting worried ..."
"Well Albert?, if you could have seen the shock on my face , when Lana stepped from the Time Machine when you brought her back ."
AH , erm , how the devil did she not recognize you then ? he replied still red in the face from nearly chocking to death .
Kite got up and slapped his back .
That time she turned up in the Machine I was 20 years old and still had hair, and a hell of a lot younger , and so my old friend where were you ?.
Well there`s a thing I was , well we were thinking where we would we like to go in the past or future , but we opted for past
I wanted to watch myself fight the dragon , that was one, Lana wanted to see the birth or Christ, or see how the Egyptians built the pyramids , I told her, been there done that .
So we finally agreed to go and see my old friend King Arthur .
And so off we went .
When we got there we hid the Machine and we set off to Camelot .
Were you still dressed as hippies ? Kite said with my head in my hands .
Yes we were , and when we got to the village , the people took one look at Lana and grabbed there pitch forks and torches and shouted witch , she`s a witch , so we ran like the clappers and I fell over my Afghan , and twisted my ankle
I shouted to her to never mind me , get away in the Machine and come back for me with you , I told her to type in KITE , and in a flash she was gone .
So she must have put the wrong date , and found you in 1982 !
Yes she did , my old pain in the backside , after she had drank her tea , she told me she was a tourist and got lost , well of course , I was nt having any of that , who the hell would want to come to Hyde in Greater Manchester for a holiday ?
"Dr Jekyll ?" said Albert with a grin
Whats that noise ? she said , to break the silence
"Noise ! that`s Pink Floyd" ..Animals
Pink what . she said .
"Floyd..This is Sheep"
"Sheep! , I`ve read about them in history ", she said
You`ve read about them in history ? !!
"Er yeah , there extinct now ar`nt they ? she said looking at the cover of the album , whats that floating in the sky?"
Its an inflatable Pig .
"A Pig !, Ive read..."
"About them in history "
"Yes I did, and it was kinda like very bleak how they were slaughtered in their millions ..."
"You're not a tourist are you Lana, you're a student aren't you and dressed like a hippy that`s never heard of Pink Floyd , and on some really weird Trip ."
"Trip ? how did you know ?
Yes I`m looking for a Kite and I`ve got to go back to Camelot and get Albert " she said.
"Its magic mushrooms isn't it ?"
"What are you going on about" , she said really looking confused .
"Well I`m Kite , and this is one bad trip your on , Camelot that`s not a place to go , its a myth" .
Well I`ve been there and its real , and she grabbed my arm and we went outside to the Shed and opened the door .
"By the grace of Jimmy page`s twin neck I cried its a Time Machine right ?
That`s right , how did you know ?
Its just I once found a book on how to build a time machine , by Professor Ivan Von Burntoast .
That`s a funny name said Lana .
"Yeah I guess it is , well I guess we better go and get Albert ?"
"OK then , there`s one thing , I cant remember what year I left Albert in ".
Oh Dear.
Well what I can remember from history lessons , I think were looking at 6th century ish , any ideas ?" I asked a now very worried looking Lana .
"Oh erm.. 6023 I think ."
"Great now how do you work this thing ?" I typed in the date and King Arthur .
Well I`m not really sure , she said ". Not a problem , I`ll go and get my book on How to build your own time machine by I. V Burntoast Second Edition ."
"I Burn toast" said Lana laughing .
"Do you ?"
I typed in the date and place and , there was a crackle and a few flashing lights and the machine stopped .
We opened the door and stepped outside .
I was amazed to find ourselves in Olde England , there was a small village and on top of a hill was a castle.
I`m guessing that`s Camelot , and the first thing we must do is steal some cloths , if we walk about dressed like this we will be burned at the stake .
We grabbed some cloths of a washing line and headed for the castle , as we walked through the village center a man cry ed out to us
"Here thou has got thy best cloths on there sire "
What did he say ?asked Lana .
Run !, and we ran in between the huts until we lost him .
We eventually arrived at the castle gates.
I knocked .
"Who's there ?" asked the guard , who as you have guessed was on the other side of the gate .
"Father" I replied as I had stolen a monks attire
"Father who ? he replied .
"Father Christmas"
Have you bought my present s ? he asked
Have you been a good guard ?
"Er yes I have , but I did have to kill some one last week , because he did n`t know the pass word "
"And what was that ?"
Hedgehog soup , said the guard, so can you give me the password Father Christmas .
"Hedgehog soup" I said .
"I`m going have to kill you now " he cried out .
But why?
"That was last weeks password" he said .
So we ran .
We got back to the village and as we walked in the food stalls I saw a hippy buying some black puddings.
"Is that Albert by any chance?" I asked Lana
Why" yes it is!" she said with delight
We caught him up .
"Albert it s me Lana we`ve come back !"
Albert turned round" Lana ! and .. who's this ?" he said .
"My names Kite"
"Your not Kite !" said the old hippy
"I am !"
"Oh yes.. erm sorry I`ve got you mixed up with someone else" he muttered .
"What happened Albert , there was an angry mob after us , I thought you may be dead" said Lana
"When they got to me , they could have sworn that I was Percival a knight of the round table , but older , so they took me back to the village and bandaged my ankle and gave me a hut to stay in , cheap rate but no shower" he said.
"I`m very confused" said Lana .
"Its a long story , but I`m Percival from this time and I was a lot younger than now , its one of my reincarnated live's " said Albert .
We got back to the Time Machine and set off back to the future , We went to the year 2007 , I stayed in the machine while Albert and Lana got out , for supplies
I was nt even thinking about what the future looked like and really not worth the headache.
So I stayed inside , but I had a peep and the two of them were talking to a middle aged man with a John Lennon t shirt and jeans , cool guy I thought and they still have musical taste in the future .
Albert and Lana got back into the machine and we dropped off Lana back in 2023 and then back to 2007 were I had to stay in the machine until the man Albert lived with went to bed and then in the night Albert came back and told me to take the machine , drop him off in the 1900 so he could build a second machine with the Inventor I V. Burntoast and he would come back and take the machine that I had .
But he never came back , so I have been waiting for him since 1982
Then as years went by I had kept clear of the Shed and I never noticed it being in the back garden and I can`t say when but it just disappeared
Years past and I went on with my daily ordinary life until one day it came back.
I wont say how but I have only used it once and I just give it a coat of paint every few years .
And one cold night I walked past a telephone box and I saw that old time traveling hippy asleep , and that was why I woke you up you old bugger and of course you did nt recognize me because I had`nt gone back in time and met you yet .
"Time travel eh its a bugger isn't it ?" said Albert
"So what happened to you ?"
"I got distracted"
"I see , so your not telling ?"
"Butterfly effect " Said Albert .
Albert was already up . "do you fancy a walk in the cemetery this morning?" Kite asked
No I don`t , thank you
He was sat looking at the Time Machine through the window
"How about we taking that Time Machine for a spin ?" he said .
"No Albert , I'm sorry but its not a good idea , its nothing but trouble"
"what the hell are you doing with it then , if your never going to use it , and where the hell on Octainia did you get it ?" he said .
I`m minding it for a friend said Kite sheepishly
Explain yourself boy ,I`ll put the kettle on said Albert
"Don't forget the biscuits!" .
"Well it all started when I was a 20 years old when I lived my mum and dad and my parents went on holiday to Cornwall for 2 weeks..."
"been there, its nice and solved a crime" ,said Albert with a grin on his face .
So I`m on my own and had the house to myself , brought the stereo from upstairs, and this particular night it was hot so I sat at the door , its wide open with Floyd playing and I sat there it seemed for hours, it must have been about 2 o clock in the morning .
I had dozed off and when I woke up there was a shed on the street .
"The Time Machine" Albert said .
That`s right and the door opened and out stepped this young girl .
"Your joking !" Albert said sitting up in his chair and stroking his beard .
No , I do not jest , she came over to me "what year is it " she asked .
A strange question to ask, but I answered anyway
"1982 " I replied
"Oh dear , that things playing up again "she said turning round to the shed in the middle of the street.
"How can a shed be playing up ?" I asked
"Oh nothing to worry about" she said "any chance of me staying here with you awhile ?"
"A While ?" yeah why not ! I said looking her up and down she was very nice looking .
"What boy?" said Albert .
I mean,ahem she did nt look dangerous or anything ."
So we went into the house , I asked her if she would like a cup of tea ?,"
"Is this England ?" she asked ."Of course it is " where the devil did you think you were ?
"Oh nowhere "she replied
"So What are you doing in the middle of the night in a shed , that seems to appeared from nowhere?" I asked her passing her a cup of tea .
"Oh its a long story , whats your name ?" she asked
"Kite"
"Are your parents hippies ? or something ?"
"No , my dad`s an accountant"
"Ah.."
"And your name is? "
"Lana"
Albert spilled his tea and nearly chocked on his Jaffa Cake. ( which technically is not a biscuit )
"Explain yourself old man "
"I think it`s time for my bath "
"Albert! what have you been up too ?"
"You never said anything when I brought the girl here "he said .
"First rule of time traveling is never discuss anything about the past or future , of what has happened or about to happen , but you old man have a lot of explaining to do" .
My rubber Duck will be getting worried ..."
"Well Albert?, if you could have seen the shock on my face , when Lana stepped from the Time Machine when you brought her back ."
AH , erm , how the devil did she not recognize you then ? he replied still red in the face from nearly chocking to death .
Kite got up and slapped his back .
That time she turned up in the Machine I was 20 years old and still had hair, and a hell of a lot younger , and so my old friend where were you ?.
Well there`s a thing I was , well we were thinking where we would we like to go in the past or future , but we opted for past
I wanted to watch myself fight the dragon , that was one, Lana wanted to see the birth or Christ, or see how the Egyptians built the pyramids , I told her, been there done that .
So we finally agreed to go and see my old friend King Arthur .
And so off we went .
When we got there we hid the Machine and we set off to Camelot .
Were you still dressed as hippies ? Kite said with my head in my hands .
Yes we were , and when we got to the village , the people took one look at Lana and grabbed there pitch forks and torches and shouted witch , she`s a witch , so we ran like the clappers and I fell over my Afghan , and twisted my ankle
I shouted to her to never mind me , get away in the Machine and come back for me with you , I told her to type in KITE , and in a flash she was gone .
So she must have put the wrong date , and found you in 1982 !
Yes she did , my old pain in the backside , after she had drank her tea , she told me she was a tourist and got lost , well of course , I was nt having any of that , who the hell would want to come to Hyde in Greater Manchester for a holiday ?
"Dr Jekyll ?" said Albert with a grin
Whats that noise ? she said , to break the silence
"Noise ! that`s Pink Floyd" ..Animals
Pink what . she said .
"Floyd..This is Sheep"
"Sheep! , I`ve read about them in history ", she said
You`ve read about them in history ? !!
"Er yeah , there extinct now ar`nt they ? she said looking at the cover of the album , whats that floating in the sky?"
Its an inflatable Pig .
"A Pig !, Ive read..."
"About them in history "
"Yes I did, and it was kinda like very bleak how they were slaughtered in their millions ..."
"You're not a tourist are you Lana, you're a student aren't you and dressed like a hippy that`s never heard of Pink Floyd , and on some really weird Trip ."
"Trip ? how did you know ?
Yes I`m looking for a Kite and I`ve got to go back to Camelot and get Albert " she said.
"Its magic mushrooms isn't it ?"
"What are you going on about" , she said really looking confused .
"Well I`m Kite , and this is one bad trip your on , Camelot that`s not a place to go , its a myth" .
Well I`ve been there and its real , and she grabbed my arm and we went outside to the Shed and opened the door .
"By the grace of Jimmy page`s twin neck I cried its a Time Machine right ?
That`s right , how did you know ?
Its just I once found a book on how to build a time machine , by Professor Ivan Von Burntoast .
That`s a funny name said Lana .
"Yeah I guess it is , well I guess we better go and get Albert ?"
"OK then , there`s one thing , I cant remember what year I left Albert in ".
Oh Dear.
Well what I can remember from history lessons , I think were looking at 6th century ish , any ideas ?" I asked a now very worried looking Lana .
"Oh erm.. 6023 I think ."
"Great now how do you work this thing ?" I typed in the date and King Arthur .
Well I`m not really sure , she said ". Not a problem , I`ll go and get my book on How to build your own time machine by I. V Burntoast Second Edition ."
"I Burn toast" said Lana laughing .
"Do you ?"
I typed in the date and place and , there was a crackle and a few flashing lights and the machine stopped .
We opened the door and stepped outside .
I was amazed to find ourselves in Olde England , there was a small village and on top of a hill was a castle.
I`m guessing that`s Camelot , and the first thing we must do is steal some cloths , if we walk about dressed like this we will be burned at the stake .
We grabbed some cloths of a washing line and headed for the castle , as we walked through the village center a man cry ed out to us
"Here thou has got thy best cloths on there sire "
What did he say ?asked Lana .
Run !, and we ran in between the huts until we lost him .
We eventually arrived at the castle gates.
I knocked .
"Who's there ?" asked the guard , who as you have guessed was on the other side of the gate .
"Father" I replied as I had stolen a monks attire
"Father who ? he replied .
"Father Christmas"
Have you bought my present s ? he asked
Have you been a good guard ?
"Er yes I have , but I did have to kill some one last week , because he did n`t know the pass word "
"And what was that ?"
Hedgehog soup , said the guard, so can you give me the password Father Christmas .
"Hedgehog soup" I said .
"I`m going have to kill you now " he cried out .
But why?
"That was last weeks password" he said .
So we ran .
We got back to the village and as we walked in the food stalls I saw a hippy buying some black puddings.
"Is that Albert by any chance?" I asked Lana
Why" yes it is!" she said with delight
We caught him up .
"Albert it s me Lana we`ve come back !"
Albert turned round" Lana ! and .. who's this ?" he said .
"My names Kite"
"Your not Kite !" said the old hippy
"I am !"
"Oh yes.. erm sorry I`ve got you mixed up with someone else" he muttered .
"What happened Albert , there was an angry mob after us , I thought you may be dead" said Lana
"When they got to me , they could have sworn that I was Percival a knight of the round table , but older , so they took me back to the village and bandaged my ankle and gave me a hut to stay in , cheap rate but no shower" he said.
"I`m very confused" said Lana .
"Its a long story , but I`m Percival from this time and I was a lot younger than now , its one of my reincarnated live's " said Albert .
We got back to the Time Machine and set off back to the future , We went to the year 2007 , I stayed in the machine while Albert and Lana got out , for supplies
I was nt even thinking about what the future looked like and really not worth the headache.
So I stayed inside , but I had a peep and the two of them were talking to a middle aged man with a John Lennon t shirt and jeans , cool guy I thought and they still have musical taste in the future .
Albert and Lana got back into the machine and we dropped off Lana back in 2023 and then back to 2007 were I had to stay in the machine until the man Albert lived with went to bed and then in the night Albert came back and told me to take the machine , drop him off in the 1900 so he could build a second machine with the Inventor I V. Burntoast and he would come back and take the machine that I had .
But he never came back , so I have been waiting for him since 1982
Then as years went by I had kept clear of the Shed and I never noticed it being in the back garden and I can`t say when but it just disappeared
Years past and I went on with my daily ordinary life until one day it came back.
I wont say how but I have only used it once and I just give it a coat of paint every few years .
And one cold night I walked past a telephone box and I saw that old time traveling hippy asleep , and that was why I woke you up you old bugger and of course you did nt recognize me because I had`nt gone back in time and met you yet .
"Time travel eh its a bugger isn't it ?" said Albert
"So what happened to you ?"
"I got distracted"
"I see , so your not telling ?"
"Butterfly effect " Said Albert .