Post by mrkite23 on Jul 25, 2008 7:09:44 GMT 12
It was a nice evening so Kite and his new lodger had decided to get some air and so they took a walk around the cemetery at the back of the house .
The sun had just set and it was a clear sky and the moon was full and it lit up the cemetery like an old Hammer Horror movie set .
“This reminds me of the good old days when I was in pursuit of the Count Dracula around that famous meeting at Car Fax Abbey, it was a sad story really , I guess you would say it’s a love story of sorts “
Said the old man as he picked up a broken branch on the floor and began to pull off the small twigs and tried it as a makeshift walking stick
“A love story! , oh yes, you say you’re the real Van Helsing” .
“Well you believe what you want , but I am the man Albert P. Van Helsing is my name “
“Yeah , but how come in the book , and now come to think of it it’s a fictional book and not fact that the Dr is called Abraham and not Albert ?”
That scoundrel Bram Stoker who stole my story changed Albert to Abraham , his name which I was not happy about .”
“I see , so how did it all start then ?”
“Well it all started in 1462 when Constantinople was invaded by the Moslem Turks and then the army set out to invade Romania , but in Transylvania there was a powerful warlord called Dracula and he was a great leader of his army who would follow to the brink of hell and they fought against the Turks and they defeated them .
The retreating Turks fired an arrow into Dracula`s castle with a message that the warlord had been killed in battle, hoping that they would put fear into his followers
Reading the note she was so distort Dracula`s wife Elizabeth she threw herself into the river “
“Oh was she a good swimmer I hope ?”
“No you foolish boy she took her own life “ said the old man .
“Carry on “Kite said sheepishly
“I will , when Dracula came back from the battle fields and found out what had happened to his wife , he was so enraged that him denounced himself from god and turned to the dark side “
“What like Darth Vader ?”
“No ! the Devil you silly boy “ said a angry Albert , who Kite guessed had left his sense of humour at home .
“He learned the ways of Satan and he lived off the blood of the innocent and he became immortal and was the most feared man in Eastern Europe “
“So how the devil did you get mixed up in all of this then?”
“The year was 1897 and I was touring the hospitals of London with my Science and medicine show..”
“Tour ?, what like T. shirts , programs in the foray ?”
“No! but there were nice Baseball Caps with Helsing Blood Tour 1897 on the front “
“Oh nice “
“ I got a telegram from a friend of mine Dr Hemlswood saying he needed my help and that he had a friend who seemed to have a blood sickness he had never seen before “.
“All very interesting Albert but its getting very dark and I think we should get back to the house and you can tell me the rest when we get back “
And so Albert and Kite got back home and Kite put the kettle on and Albert got out the biscuits .
“Carry on then Albert , this is quite a story , thankful we were not in that cemetery.
“That very next day I went to the address he had give me and as soon as got there he let me in pulled off my coat and hat and took me upstairs were there was a red headed girl all sweaty and hot “
“You mean!”
“Yes she had been bittern by a Vampire “
“Oh I see , carry on “
“Yes, ? I had examined her and she had two small marks on the side of her neck and I had seen these before in rural parts of Eastern Europe , most cases the victims had been from Transylvania.
“I told Hemlswood to go and get crucifix s , holy water and some garlic “
“Garlic ?”
“Yes Garlic that was for me , I had a bit of a sniffle , its good for colds you know” said the old man .
“Anyway boy I asked them if there had been anything strange had happened recently , and so the Doctor tells me how a ship with no crew had docked at the sea port and a coffin , had been the only cargo with a address on it and it was to be delivered to Car Fax Abbey which had just been bought by a certain Count Dracula from Transylvania
which was sold to him by a Mr Harker who had traveled to Dracula`s Castle in Transylvania and by chance that Harker showed Dracula a photo of his fiance and she turns out she was a reincarnation of Dracula`s wife Elizabeth “
“What was the chances of that then?! “ Kite asked .
“ The ways of the unknown , because I don’t know, so Harker was held captive by Dracula`s two Vampire Sirens and they fed on him and he became there pet “
“So the count had come to England , in his coffin because they need to lie in the earth of their birthplace as the coffin was filled with earth and they can not walk the earth during the day the walking dead do not like the sunlight “
“A bit like Moshers , smiled Kite "So I see the love story bit , the Count had come to reclaim his wife and he was just feeding of her friend to keep his appetite up for the main course Harker`s fiance “
“Something like that” said Albert staring at Kite with distain
.
“So what happened next ?”
“Well of course I put two and two together that Dracula was here and he was resting at the Car Fax Abbey and , we needed to go and kill the Nosferatu “
“The what?”
“The Dark one , Dracula , so we went in the morning and we took some wooden stakes and holy water and crucifix s and a Axe “
“Blimey “
“Well you can never be to sure when your messing with a Vampire boy , so we searched the Abbey and we found his coffin and opened it up and he was lying there asleep “
“Did he have a Teddy Bear or a Bat?” Kite asked
“ No but he had some nice stripped Pyjamas , so we got the stake and rammed it into his heart and then we cut of his head and covered the body with holy water and the Count was no more”
And I had saved the day and got a booking for three nights at the Royal Albert hall .
“Well that was a story , so what happened to the red haired girl then Albert?”
“I married her , as I had saved her life for the evil clutches of Dracula “ he said with a grin .
So it was a happy ending unless you were a Vampire .
Kite and Albert settled down and watched Albert`s favourite film at the moment The Fearless Vampire Killers and as Kite looked out of the window he could have sworn he saw a man in the cemetery with a long black cloak pointed teeth , so he shut the curtains and did not sleep that well that night .
The sun had just set and it was a clear sky and the moon was full and it lit up the cemetery like an old Hammer Horror movie set .
“This reminds me of the good old days when I was in pursuit of the Count Dracula around that famous meeting at Car Fax Abbey, it was a sad story really , I guess you would say it’s a love story of sorts “
Said the old man as he picked up a broken branch on the floor and began to pull off the small twigs and tried it as a makeshift walking stick
“A love story! , oh yes, you say you’re the real Van Helsing” .
“Well you believe what you want , but I am the man Albert P. Van Helsing is my name “
“Yeah , but how come in the book , and now come to think of it it’s a fictional book and not fact that the Dr is called Abraham and not Albert ?”
That scoundrel Bram Stoker who stole my story changed Albert to Abraham , his name which I was not happy about .”
“I see , so how did it all start then ?”
“Well it all started in 1462 when Constantinople was invaded by the Moslem Turks and then the army set out to invade Romania , but in Transylvania there was a powerful warlord called Dracula and he was a great leader of his army who would follow to the brink of hell and they fought against the Turks and they defeated them .
The retreating Turks fired an arrow into Dracula`s castle with a message that the warlord had been killed in battle, hoping that they would put fear into his followers
Reading the note she was so distort Dracula`s wife Elizabeth she threw herself into the river “
“Oh was she a good swimmer I hope ?”
“No you foolish boy she took her own life “ said the old man .
“Carry on “Kite said sheepishly
“I will , when Dracula came back from the battle fields and found out what had happened to his wife , he was so enraged that him denounced himself from god and turned to the dark side “
“What like Darth Vader ?”
“No ! the Devil you silly boy “ said a angry Albert , who Kite guessed had left his sense of humour at home .
“He learned the ways of Satan and he lived off the blood of the innocent and he became immortal and was the most feared man in Eastern Europe “
“So how the devil did you get mixed up in all of this then?”
“The year was 1897 and I was touring the hospitals of London with my Science and medicine show..”
“Tour ?, what like T. shirts , programs in the foray ?”
“No! but there were nice Baseball Caps with Helsing Blood Tour 1897 on the front “
“Oh nice “
“ I got a telegram from a friend of mine Dr Hemlswood saying he needed my help and that he had a friend who seemed to have a blood sickness he had never seen before “.
“All very interesting Albert but its getting very dark and I think we should get back to the house and you can tell me the rest when we get back “
And so Albert and Kite got back home and Kite put the kettle on and Albert got out the biscuits .
“Carry on then Albert , this is quite a story , thankful we were not in that cemetery.
“That very next day I went to the address he had give me and as soon as got there he let me in pulled off my coat and hat and took me upstairs were there was a red headed girl all sweaty and hot “
“You mean!”
“Yes she had been bittern by a Vampire “
“Oh I see , carry on “
“Yes, ? I had examined her and she had two small marks on the side of her neck and I had seen these before in rural parts of Eastern Europe , most cases the victims had been from Transylvania.
“I told Hemlswood to go and get crucifix s , holy water and some garlic “
“Garlic ?”
“Yes Garlic that was for me , I had a bit of a sniffle , its good for colds you know” said the old man .
“Anyway boy I asked them if there had been anything strange had happened recently , and so the Doctor tells me how a ship with no crew had docked at the sea port and a coffin , had been the only cargo with a address on it and it was to be delivered to Car Fax Abbey which had just been bought by a certain Count Dracula from Transylvania
which was sold to him by a Mr Harker who had traveled to Dracula`s Castle in Transylvania and by chance that Harker showed Dracula a photo of his fiance and she turns out she was a reincarnation of Dracula`s wife Elizabeth “
“What was the chances of that then?! “ Kite asked .
“ The ways of the unknown , because I don’t know, so Harker was held captive by Dracula`s two Vampire Sirens and they fed on him and he became there pet “
“So the count had come to England , in his coffin because they need to lie in the earth of their birthplace as the coffin was filled with earth and they can not walk the earth during the day the walking dead do not like the sunlight “
“A bit like Moshers , smiled Kite "So I see the love story bit , the Count had come to reclaim his wife and he was just feeding of her friend to keep his appetite up for the main course Harker`s fiance “
“Something like that” said Albert staring at Kite with distain
.
“So what happened next ?”
“Well of course I put two and two together that Dracula was here and he was resting at the Car Fax Abbey and , we needed to go and kill the Nosferatu “
“The what?”
“The Dark one , Dracula , so we went in the morning and we took some wooden stakes and holy water and crucifix s and a Axe “
“Blimey “
“Well you can never be to sure when your messing with a Vampire boy , so we searched the Abbey and we found his coffin and opened it up and he was lying there asleep “
“Did he have a Teddy Bear or a Bat?” Kite asked
“ No but he had some nice stripped Pyjamas , so we got the stake and rammed it into his heart and then we cut of his head and covered the body with holy water and the Count was no more”
And I had saved the day and got a booking for three nights at the Royal Albert hall .
“Well that was a story , so what happened to the red haired girl then Albert?”
“I married her , as I had saved her life for the evil clutches of Dracula “ he said with a grin .
So it was a happy ending unless you were a Vampire .
Kite and Albert settled down and watched Albert`s favourite film at the moment The Fearless Vampire Killers and as Kite looked out of the window he could have sworn he saw a man in the cemetery with a long black cloak pointed teeth , so he shut the curtains and did not sleep that well that night .